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writes: Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years. The only problem is his ex-girlfriend. I cant stand her and she feels the same about me. They were together for five years and I feel like I just can't compete. Whenever I bring it up with my boyfriend he says it is my problem and he's not changing the way he is with her. She is very touchy feely and sends him text messages saying she loves him and all sorts of things that you just don't send to people who are just your friend. I've tried to get on with her but I cant help how I feel. I dont know how to deal with the situation anymore. I dont know if she is a threat or if I'm going mad!
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reader, dan102938 +, writes (16 May 2005):
I don't know about you but if I were you I would say "if you love me then don't talk to your old ex g/f or I'm gone". At least, thats what I would do if I were you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2005): This situation is very common. I've been there. The female is only doing this to see if you're jealous, to test your feeling for your boyfriend, and also to try and show your boyfriend that she still cares for him. You need to let your boyfriend and his ex that it's not cool for them to be all huggy-huggy love love.
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reader, Tia +, writes (17 April 2005):
I have been in this exact same situation. I was with a Guy whose ex was still hanging around. She invited him on holiday, tex him all the time, asked favours of him and even bought him a watch after i had bought him one saying that she didn't like the one i had got him! We had 18 months of arguments and although he could see where the problem was, he wasn't prepared to do anything about it! So we broke up and then he saw the error of his ways and wanted to cut her out of hi life, but it was too late. My advice then, is to talk to your boyfriend and explai how you feel. If he can't see how much this is hurting you (how would he feel in the same situation?) and he won't do anything aout it, the best thing you can do is break up now and save yourself theyears of heartache thinking that he will come to his senses....he won't!Good luck and take care x
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reader, Wendyg  +, writes (16 April 2005):
 First off, he has said to you he will not change the way he is with her! Hmm he likes the attention by the sound of it. Is he recripricating ? Are the texts messages that he sends back to her of the same nature she sends him ? This is a bit like 3 in a relationship and its not nice! Its nice that he can remain friends with an ex, but thats all it should be, and from what you say, she cant let go. And he doesnt want her to! If he were that bothered about your feelings he would tell her to stop acting in this way. He could be thriving on the attention that she gives him as an ego boost, men like to feel they have the upperhand and its probly great for him to know she still cares, and that gives him a buzz. What you do to establish is that he doesnt feel the same way. Its all well and good having an ex chasing after you when your single, that kinda gives you a spring in your step. But to have it happen when you are in another established realtionship is not good! You need to tell him exactly how you feel about the way she acts, tell him that whilst they are friends you can understand that and wouldnt take a friend away, but at the same time, you feel hurt about it and that you cant carry on competing for his affections. He is with you now and he should treat you with respect, and if he loves you and wants to be with you he has to tell her to stop acting in this way. Im sorry but if he doesnt, you will have to give him an ultimatum, I know these are not nice, but neither is feeling like a porn in a game. (almost like he is using you to make her jealous, and he likes the attention it brings) He needs to think of your feelings first, and if he cant do that then its clear his loyalties lay elsewhere and you will have to move on. Tell him once again how you feel and that you cant carry on like this, if it doesnt change, you will need to do whats best for you and that is to move on. You cant live the rest of your relationship with someone else in the relationship.Take care x
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reader, Kitten-Man +, writes (16 April 2005):
Right, now you need to get serious! This guy is obviously a jerk and if you want to stay with him, there's only one thing you can do. You need to approach this guy and tell him that if he doesn't stop acting like this towards his so called "friend" then you really dont think you two could e together. I mean, you don't want to waste your dating time with this guy who unless you really act is gonna cheat on you?
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