A
male
age
41-50,
*ustlust
writes: what is wrong with me? I keep insisting that I remain in my ex-fiance's life. we broke up about a month ago. she just stopped all communication with me with no reason or anything. she has a disorder called ptsd and through everything, I still love her very much. I just cannot seem to let go of her. I just want her back.
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female
reader, natmarie +, writes (19 August 2010):
I am sorry to hear this. Try to blcok all lines of commuincation wiht her - that whay you won;t know if she has tried to conact you . That's what I am doing at the moment with my ex. I;m closing down one thing at a time eg: yesterday the IM mesnegr, tommororw blocking emails, the next day blocking his number. It is horrible when you don;t get closure. I think the letter idea tht dirtball wrote is a good idea. Also try and get a date!! it will really help. :o) xx
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (19 August 2010):
When we don't end the relationship it can be hard to let go. Add the fact that communication just stopped and no proper break was made and you have a recipe for what you're feeling. Basically it boils down to closure. You've received none. I feel your pain. My last GF did the same thing. One day she just stopped answering her phone when I called and never returned my calls. I realized she wasn't happy, but she also wasn't mature enough to admit that to me. I didn't hear from her again until she dialed my phone by accident one day about a month later.
What I did to gain closure was write her a letter. I let her know that after our 3 years together, I never imagined that things would end this way. I realized that neither of us was happy, but since I hadn't heard from her, I was going to assume she moved on. I kept it simple. I wished her luck in the future and said I hoped she finds what she was looking for.
That helped me. At the same time, I was looking for an out in that relationship. So I was able to address it more logically than emotionally. I'd already dealt with those emotions.
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A
female
reader, aela +, writes (19 August 2010):
Give yourself a break, a month isn't that long. You loved this person and probably still do. After all, at one point the two of you planned on spending your lives together. These things take time.
PTSD is different for everyone; try to understand her condition and just be there as a friend for now. Give her some space and time, as difficult as that is. I know you don't feel like it but force yourself to start spending time elsewhere in order to give her this space - just try to think of it as temporary for now. Go work-out, pray for guidance, put it in God's hands and continue to focus on other loved ones in your life.
With each passing day, you will see the situation a bit more clearly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): plain and simple.. you never got closure
she may never come back to you but it may be very very important for your future and your metal stability to seek out an answer to all this
as much as you probably don't want to hear this..maybe you should move on
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