A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: Should I be upset that my husband of thirty years, talks to his lady friend on the phone almost every day, sometimes several times in a day? I guess I am just a little jealous because he doesn't talk to me that much. And I caught him lying about talking to her one day. Am I making too much of this or should I tell him to loose his female friend? She is married also by the way.
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female
reader, ShiShisAdvice +, writes (4 February 2011):
Loose-the-female-friend but how? Lose him. Let me tell ya, I was one of those types of ladies that had "male" friends. My husband made it clear, if you talk to them, I WILL LEAVE. So I don't talk to them at all because I respect my marriage. Very simple, and very easy to do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): I think if you are feeling upset about this then it is a sign that something is not right...don't ever deny yourself of this feeling by covering it up with denial. I believe that you should talk to your husband about this and if he says there's nothing going on with the other woman then you can either believe it or not. Tell him how it makes you feel inside. Another thing is do you greet him with love when he comes home? Do you treat him any differently from when the two of you were first married? I think maybe this time around, you should take hold of this relationship and do something for him, like cook his favorite meal, make yourself up with maybe lip gloss or change your hairstyle. Show more interest in other things as well...are you happy when you are with him? Change the bedroom or any other room in the house. Cook his favorite dessert or buy his favorite dessert. Umm, some say do something interesting and different at the same time...like kidnap him to a restaurant you both love to go and eat at or do something sexy he'd be surprised at yet loving it...like wearing a sexy lingerie and having some sparkling wine and strawberries in the bedroom, giving him a loving back rub ... do something to put sparkle back in your marriage. There are a lot of books out there that can provide you tons of ideas....even magazines like Cosmopolitan has some ideas that some men love and women who don't mind doing it. But do something to bring back his attention toward you...the woman he loved when you both were still dating...the woman that captured his heart when he asked you to marry him...and the woman of his dreams when you did marry him. You get the idea. Wonderful wishes of a lifetime of happiness for you and your honey.
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A
male
reader, Leodjoneluv +, writes (3 February 2011):
well, i would be bothered by that relationship. they may just be great friends. tell him that it bothers you. See if he include you in the conversations. communication is the key. talk to him
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A
female
reader, TEM +, writes (3 February 2011):
Do you feel he is having an emotional affair with this woman? Talking on the phone several times a day is excessive, even for the best of friends. If you are thinking this behavior is a threat to your marriage you should have a heart-to-heart talk with him.
Sometimes people don't think they are doing anything wrong if there is nothing physical going on. Unfortunately, emotional affairs tend to progress to extramarital affairs. The advances in today's technology move these situation along much faster than they did before cell phones, texts, email, Facebook, etc.
I say nip it in the bud. Both these people are married. I've seen it before. It's not pretty.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (3 February 2011):
If talking to her is affecting your relationship and distracting him completely from you, then yes, it's a problem you should be concerned about. There's a possibility he has feelings for her, especially considering that he lied about talking to her. If there was nothing to hide, why lie?
Talk to him about it, ask if everything's ok. Let him know how you're feeling lately about his distance, and try to use the word 'I' to explain things more than 'you'. It'll seem less accusatory and won't make him become more defensive. Communication is very important, a lack of it can kill a relationship because neither of you will be aware of what's going on with the other. If you give him a chance to open up and tell you what's wrong and why he's acting this way, you may be able to sort it out.
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