A
female
age
30-35,
*aniellenicole22
writes:My 3 year relationship ended recently. Not only have I lost my boyfriend but I've also lost a majority of my friends because a lot of my friends were my boyfriends friends. They're all still friends obviously and are always doing things together and nobody even talks to me anymore. My ex seems really happy and seems to be moving on fast and having a great time and I'm sitting here depressed. I just feel like I've lost everyone in my life and I feel really lonely. My whole lifestyle has changed dramatically since the break up and i just don't know where to go from here.
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female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (30 April 2013):
 Break-ups are hard and people deal with them differently. You need to be patient with yourself. It's a recent break-up, so take this time to focus on closure with your ex - you could go to the gym more, start running, join a class, whatever really... but keep busy. This will give you time to focus on other things not just him him and in the meantime you will be going through the healing process.
These so called friends may not be what you need around you right now. If they are not faithful to you through this incident then most likely they anyway won't stand by you through most. Its probably for the better coz you can focus on yourself and not have mutual friends passing info to your ex about how you are depressed and not coping. You need to (even for the impression) hold your head high and try to maintain an image of being OK. Good luck hun... every cloud has a silver lining! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2013): "My ex seems really happy and seems to be moving on fast and having a great time"
Yeah well he's not OP, he's in the same boat as you and dealing with a break up, he may be faking happiness, or you may only be thinking that but he's as hurt as you are. The only difference is he still has a big support network, while you've lost a lot of yours.
OP you had friends before you got with him did you not? Reconnect with them, surely you have other people in your life that you may not be close to or socialize with much, then it's time to start working on spending time with them more often.
OP you just have to rebuild, you'll be able to fairly easily rekindle old friendships by doing fun things with them, gain new friends by joining clubs, martial arts or other social hobbies.
As K_C rightly stated you need to build your own social group now OP and never get sucked into only mingling with the friends of a boyfriend. If you have no friends now it's probably because you let people slip away when you got with your boyfriend, don't let that happen again and if that wasn't the case then make sure you rectify it anyway.
OP break ups suck, but you need to talk to people so talk to your family. Spend more time with your mom shopping or something, do fun things with people in your life and don't mourn the loss of this social group too much.
Take your time while healing from your break up to create a new social circle for yourself, stay away from romance until you have achieved this or you're just going to end up in the same situation again.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (30 April 2013):
 Start to rebuild your life away from your ex and his friends - you need to build your own circle of friends so you are not linked to him for your happiness in any way, shape or form.
I know that is easier said than done, and making friends is tough - but its not impossible. What is your relationship with your family like? Start off by spending more time with them, if you have any brothers/sisters or cousins see if they would mind you hanging out with them and their friends for a while.
Get out there and do some new hobbies and keep yourself busy - make sure they are sociable hobbies ideally that involve you joining a group/club/organisation. For example, if you life running, then join a running club so you are doing a hobby you enjoy with a group of likeminded people.
Try volunteering for a charity - that is an amazing thing to do in itself, and there will be plenty of people to make friends with there. If I had the time I'd love to volunteer for an animal rescue centre, and that would be full of other animal lovers to get talking to so I know I'd make friends doing that - shame I work 7 days a week though!
And the easiest option for making friends is through work or college/school (depending on what you are doing at the moment). If you have a job, then make more of an effort to talk to people at work and start spending time with them at lunchtimes, this will then easily develop into a closer friendship and you can start doing stuff outside of work with them. If you are at school/college, again its a similar thing - get chatting to the people you sit next to, maybe ask to study together one day or go out for coffee after a class.
The more you can build your own social circle up that dont involve any of his friends, the more you will become independent and happier with your own life. Its nice in relationships to share friends, but you should always have your own group of friends that will be there for you no matter what and are loyal to you, not him.
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