A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:i need some advice please. Ive just ended it with my ldr boyfriend, after being messed around with yet again and now as i sit in here in tears, my heart is broken and i feel sick, I just need to know how to be strong over the next few weeks. We had been together a year almost, and in that time he has lied to me, messed me about, stood me up.....the list goes on. I put up with it because I love him to bits. But this evening I find something out (I wont go into detail but its bad) and its as if my own heart is screaming at me to end it for good because it cant take it anymore.I really and truly have had enough. But I just dont know how Im going to cope these next few weeks, how to get over him and move on for good. How to be strong and not take him back again. I am totally and utterly devastated and dont know what to do. x
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 November 2011):
 you mourn.
you grieve the loss
you have my personal blessing to spend the next six weeks crying at the drop of a hat, eating ice cream from the container, wearing dark glasses instead of makeup and calling all your gfs to obssess about him. SIX WEEKS! then life has to go on.
NO CONTACT is good... if you really mean to end it, then delete his email and his numbers and block him on face book and twitter...
tell me what you are missing... HIM or what you WANT and NEED him to be...because if he was WHAT YOU NEEDED/WANTED you would not be leaving him...
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (30 November 2011):
 I'm sorry to hear that you have broken up with your LDR, but getting over someone you love will take time. I'm sure there will be many suggestions from aunts and uncles on here mentioning things you can do to speed up getting over your LDR, but at the end of the day the strength to move on and leave something you once loved behind must come from within and it will take time. People have different ways of getting over things, some like to get a hobby or do productive things to take there mind away from it, and others like to really spend maybe a week or so just reflecting on things relaxing and even crying if it helps. The most important thing is not to let what I like to call "recovery time" get you down or get too long to the point where you might make yourself depressed, also its very important to share your feelings and say what you need to say. Invite some friends round and just chat to them or even talk to some family members. I promise you, you will get to a point maybe in a couple weeks or even a month or so where you realize and feel happy that you made the right choice, as it is ovbious he was hurting you and you most defointly do deserve to be treated better xx Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 November 2011):
 Awww hunny, firstly a big hug for you!!!
It is HARD....REALLY Hard to go through the first few hours, days, weeks after a break up. I don't think there are too many people on the planet who haven't had to go through that and it sucks for everyone so you are not alone.
It seems cliche but talking to friends or family helps, allowing time to cry and grieve for lost dreams is a must but you also need to address the real issues why the relationship has failed...and they are biggies!!!
Everyone fears being alone or making a big mistake by leaving a relationship in case it will all suddenly turn out ok. The truth is that with such major issues, it's not likely to ever really work so you get into a spiral of accepting more and more crappy behaviour, losing more and more self esteem and respect until you are literally living a lie.
The pain of recovering from a break up is bad but not as bad as staying when you know things are just getting worse and worse.
I always think the 'No contact' rule should come into play immediately. Ditch numbers, don't text or call, avoid this person at all cost because it's impossible to make a clear choice when someone keeps popping up.
Write a journal if you have to or divert yourself with other activities...you will feel like lead has replaced your feet for a while and your brain will continually remind you of your ex but after a time, if you are strong, you WILL recover and life will get better again.
If you do go back and back and back again you will have to go through the whole thing again until the inevitable end is forced upon you...hold your head up now, be strong, make the choice for yourself because YOU want and need something better than this.
Best of luck chicken
xxx
AE xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2011): wow, this sounds very familiar to me. Are we dating the same guy? jaja, all similar stories. Im also sitting here in tears exactly like you, but not LDR. He has a LDR relationship with somebody in another country, that's what I just found out. So bad and I wish I could change it but I can't and he won't stop. I know this and you know it too. So please let us get busy, put our minds into something more worth it. Get into a hobby or something that will keep us busy busy and we won't think about him. Go out with friends and meet new people. I think that will help a lot .. Be strong friend ..
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A
female
reader, kittykins +, writes (30 November 2011):
 I'm sorry to hear about your break-up, dear. But, from what you've told us, you are better off without him! It will take you a long time to get over it, no matter quickly you want to. You need to have patience. The best thing to do it focus on yourself. Keep yourself busy so you're not brooding on the past. Join some activity clubs, work out, catch up with old friends, and make some new ones:)In time you WILL come to realise that you are so much better than him, and that he doesn't even come close to deserving you. You need to stay strong, which is easier said than done, I know. Sever all contact with him, delete his number, delete and block him from your facebook, it's the only way. Give yourself that time to heal, and learn to love yourself. Someone amazing will be waiting round the corner for you, but firstly you need to built yourself up and become that strong, independent woman! You can do it! This is coming from someone that has been there, so I know only too well what you are going through... pm me if you need anymore advice, I'm all too happy to help:) Good luck, dear xx
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