A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Had an abortion. Now, I'm afraid to pray or go to the church. Before this, I often find solace in church but now I'm afraid to even pray at home. I try to avoid any religious figures as in printing or etc. What do I do?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 May 2012):
 Since you mention " church " I will assume you are some denomination of Christian.
Funny how I, not Christian, always have to remind Christians that the God of Christianity is a God of endless love, endless mercy, endless forgiveness. God would never turn his back on you even if you had committed the most hideous sins known to humanity.
If you believe that you did something wrong in the eyes of your God- then you must also believe that you can resort to him for forgiveness, healing and peace of mind. And you'll find it in God,no matter what you did .
As for your priest or pastor or minister....that's another story. They might disapprove of you, they might reproach or scold you. Why not, then again. It's part of their job, to point out your mistakes so that from now on you are not even tempted to repeat them. Fair enough, I think. After all, you did screw up according to your religion, wanting to get out of it scot free, without even a verbal little slap on your wrist, it's perhaps asking too much.
Anyway , as the Buddhists say :) "Follow the Law, don't follow the person ". The representatives of God on earth are human, and as such they may at times lack of wisdom or compassion, but God never does.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 May 2012):
 I strongly disagree with the anonymous female below.
You shouldn't beat yourself up about this, but you shouldn't beat anyone else up about it either. NO ONE did anything TO you. You were in control from the very beginning. You made several choices along the way, some of which turned out to be not so good for you.
You own your mistakes, learn from them and make better choices the next time. You don't hide from God, hide from the world and sentence yourself to a life of punishment and self loathing. If God can love the likes of Hitler, He can certainly love you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): Listen, it is not you who did the bad thing. It is the system that offered you an abortion, it is the person or people who did it. You didn't know what you were doing. If you had known, would you have done it? Ask yourself that. Do not ever blame yourself. You trusted others, and they let you down. You just did what someone told you was 'sensible'. And too late, you found out that it was a very bad thing.Of course God knows all this. For sure it is a very sad moment when a baby does not get to reach life, but also for sure the baby went straight back to God. You are really not the bad one, here - in fact, you are the most hurt one. So please, go to God, and ask for forgiveness for the people who did this to you and your child. Without a doubt God loves you just as much as ever, and you can find comfort in the wisdom and love of the church. Please go. For sure they are waiting for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 May 2012):
 I'm not a Christian, but I DO know that one of the BIGGEST cornerstones of Christianity is forgiveness.
Why not go pray for guidance on how to deal with what happened?
I would also suggest you look into a supportgroup/website for women who have been in your position.
YOU are still YOU. You have EVERY right to find solace in your religion.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (7 May 2012):
I assume you've heard of King David. He seduced a married woman, Bathsheba, while her husband was away at battle. When she became pregnant David tried to conceal the deed by recalling her husband, Uriah, home from war. His hope was that Uriah would have sex with his wife and assume David's baby was his. When Uriah refused to leave the battle, David ordered him to serve on the front lines (where it was most dangerous) in hopes that he'd be killed. He was, and David married Bathsheba.
Not only did David commit adultery, but he arranged for the man he had wronged to be killed to cover his own crime.
The child he fathered died, but they did go on to have wise King Solomon.
The moral of the story is David was human and made many mistakes, some of them terrible, but God never stopped loving him.
Your mistakes (which is what sins are) were forgiven you long before you were ever born. Every last one of them, including the ones you have yet to make.
Excessive guilt and shame are among Satan's greatest tools and he's using yours to create a wedge between yourself and God. You're playing right into his hands by believing you're unworthy of being loved and forgiven.
Go back to church. You have every right to be there and you are as worthy of God's love now as you were before.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2012): I would suggest that you just do it. I mean, what are you afraid of? If you believe in God, then you know he already knows and you can always ask for forgiveness. I know you probably feel shame but avoiding making ends to your higher power won't make healing any more easier. Just talk to God and try to move on. He'll help you through prayer. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2012): The best thing you can do is pray, and go to church. It will help you heal mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I have been there, and whatever feelings you are having that are keeping you from praying and going to church are normal. It takes time...
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A
female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (6 May 2012):
 Well that depends. What is your denomination? Does your church not believe in abortion? I've never had an abortion but I would recommend talking to someone about this. If you're afraid of your religious figures at the moment, then talk to a human. Perhaps a counselor or a friend that won't judge you.
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