A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My mom hates me. I am friends with one of her friends and she says she feels that she loves me, but she hates me also. A couple of days ago she had a huge fit and started crying because she was upset that I put the frying pan in the washing machine instead of washing it. I guess you can say she is kind of crazy, self-involved, and sometimes kind of mean. I am the oldest child and she seems to have a lot of trouble accepting me as an adult. Has anybody else had similar experiences with their parents and, if so, how would you recommend dealing with this? I tried for a long time to get along, but recently I just got so fed up with it, I've stopped talking to her. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): heya girl, im 22 and im living at home with mom too, sometimes my mom is wicked, we can have a really good laugh, but on other occasions she is very stubborn, when i mean stubborn i mean that she'l stay in bed all day if it was up to her..(even tho she does this when she doesnt get her own way)..shes gos mad at me for the smallest of things, i feel sorry for dad mainly..were a family of 6 and these days were constantly on edge incase of saying the wrong thing to her..even tho weve told her to chill out so many times..my best advice for u is..when shes having her 'moment' jus leave her to it..ignore it..resort else where and let her calm down, jus keep finking its all 'bla bla bla' dats what i do..either that or move out..which is prob what i myt be doing pretty soon lol:)..let us no how it goes x x god bless
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): I know that being this concerned with your family and living with your family at my age is really looked down on, but it is not in my culture. She does keep saying now she wants me to move out and all the things in the house are hers, but when I lived alone she was joining my dad in saying she can't understand why I don't live with them. When I say I want to move out my dad is always against it, but she does want me to now. I could actually move out pretty easily paying maybe 20% more for rent + utilities than I pay my parents now. I have 3 jobs (52 hours per week). I am not a smashing success as far as a career, but I am not a failure either, and I am still working on getting ahead. As far as the dishwasher goes, the dirty frying pan does go in the dishwasher, so as to not waste water washing it, but in this particular case she wanted to use it. I am sometimes not the greatest housemate, but she really a lot of times just picks on me. She tries to blame me for things, she is always sarcastic and negative, she can get mad at me and call me names - not cursing, but still. It could be that I just tried so hard to get along with her that she just got used to me letting her treat me badly.
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A
female
reader, nailglitter18  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 Mothers have hormones, too. It could very well be that she's going through "The Change" (as some call it). Menopause is a painful change, not just physically (hot flashes, insomnia, panic attacks), but psychologically (a woman coming to terms with no longer being fertile, no longer being able to give life - you don't realize how hard it'll hit you until it does).it can really make life hard for everyone else, too. She also may not know quite where to put you as an adult. All your childhood, you were her baby. Now you're making your own decisions, and that's tough for her.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (29 October 2007):
 If you can give more examples with how she treats you, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): How old are you and you are still at home? Your mum is probably frustrated if she has to run around after all of you. Do you work? If the pan doesnt go in the machine then you should know by now. I can be very tiring and frustrating running around after other people and your mum has probably just had enough of it. I can thoroughly understand just where she is coming from. Try and be a bit more helpful and understanding. And if you are over 21 then get out and and sort a place to live. If you want to be treat like an adult then stop this ignoring your mum lark and grow up.
take care
xx
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