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anonymous
writes:I am an 18 year old girl who has fallen for her best friend's brother. I understand it may be weird for my friend to imagine us together, but we really love each other and I do not understand why she can't be happy for us. She has made it clear to me that if anything happens between me and her brother, she will get very pissed off. I feel that this whole situation is unfair. I have fallen in love, how is it my fault that the love of my life happens to be her brother? i know she won't see any sense as i have tried talking to her. Her brother, though older than her, seems to want to keep it a secret from her, I feel as if she scares him. What to do?(he is 23)
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female
reader, halilynnc  +, writes (2 April 2009):
its so hard to feel the way she does. i know for a fact. im just like her. my best friend started to date my brother, it was hard for me to thhink about, but i tried to support her....and today...minutes ago, i found out that she is now engadged to my brother she is 15 he is 20. i cried for a while just thinking about how crazy it was. im happy for her, very happy. its just so so hard to express it like you would if you hadnt know the guy ur best friend was marrying ur whole life. be compassionet. its hard.
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female
reader, riches  +, writes (3 January 2009):
I found out not long ago that one of my best friends has been seeing my older brother, they told me they had only been seeing each other for 3 weeks, but it turns out they had been seeing each other in secret for nearly months! and of course i was upset, its devastating to find some of the closest people to you, who you think you could always trust lie to you, and if they continue to lie to you by promising they'll stop and carry it on, it just makes the situation much worse, you have to truly understand what its like for your friend! friends and family are 2 separate categories. Your friends are those you can talk about problems at home with, talk about what guys you like, with family its the other way around, its too weird seeing your brother and your friend, through all of this i've lost the closeness i had with my brother, and the closeness of a friend, i can no longer look at her without a flashback of the whole story with my brother going through my head, and its the same with him, its just complicated things, and with your friend most likely having her own problems, this is just putting pressure on her to feel things she doesn't want to, you and her brother thinking she should be okay and get over it, when she feels she can't isn't going to make her feel that way. Give her time, let her understand herself what her problem is with the situation, and if she can accept it or not, she has to re-gain her trust with each of you individually, she needs to come to terms with it all, without seeing you both trying to communicate throughout the time she takes to deal with it , whatever you do , don't carry it on if she doesn't want you to, or at least give it time and talk to her about it before you make the final move. Think about your friendship with her, if she really isn't happy with the situation are you willing to sacrifice your friendship over a guy? don't you think that her being his sister, she may know a lot more about him than you, and might be trying to protect you, or she knows what your like with guys and is trying to protect him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): I know how you feel. I'm like totally in love with my best friend's younger brother and she thinks it's weird and doesn't want us together. I think it's wrong. I cant't help who I fell in love with, but I told her I would stay away from him so our friendship won't get messed up. But I still want to be with him and I can't...
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reader, Tub Tub +, writes (22 February 2008):
I really like my best mates brother, hes name is Jay porter, he is 2 years older than me but i still really like him. im scared that if i ask him out my best friend will turn agenced me, what should i do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007): i no ur feeling i am in love with my one of my best m8s sisters who actually is also my best mate, we've hooked up 3 or 4 times and 2 of which her brother knows of and like your friend, he wasnt happy one bit we ok now aslong as i dont do it again is the deal. but i have done it since and whats weird i dont feel guilty i have fallen in love with her and i dont know how to tell her. when i am with her i just want to kiss her n when i not with her i just want to be with her.my advice is follow your heart i am not man enough to do so more because i am scared of rejection than being a good friend.Your friend will come round in time i'm sure dont make the mistake i am making right now and let this chance pass you by connor
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): I am in the same situation, my best mate's brother and I have been smitten for some time now but we havent gone past friends til a few days ago and we just care so much for eachother. We both have thought over every possible fault to the situation and he told me the most brilliant thing,"I have college and shes my sister but i dont care, i want to be with you". He would give it all away because hes crazy about me and that doesnt happen often to have such an honest and caring man.So if he's crazy about you your friend should understand. And if she doesnt she cant be upset forever.If you think hes worth it then there shouldnt be a doubt in your head.
Hope this helps dear,
xoxo lovey
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female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (31 August 2006):
 Well it is very awkward for people when there friends date there siblings. I did the same to one of my friends when I was younger, I thought that it would be fine as I was alsways joking to her about how fit her brother was and she didn't mind. Then one day he asked me to be his girlfriend and straight away I said yes. But when she found out she went mad, I ended it straight away but she still didn't speak to me for six months after. My situation isnt as bad as yours though as we were not in love. I think that you should be honest with your friend and not go behind her back as this will make things ten times worse. Tell her you love him and that you will treat him right. Also reassure her that you will still include her and that you will still do things together without her brother being there also. She will probably still hate it at first but if she is a true mate in time she should come round to the idea, once she sees how good you are together. Remember that if you do get in a relationship with her brother and you have an argument don't go bitching about him to her as she doesn't want to hear her friend abusing her brother as it will make her feel uncomfortable and its not fair to put her in the middle of your dissagreements. Good luck
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reader, xxcat +, writes (31 August 2006):
 Please be carefull as u could end up losing your friend, this happened to me about 2 yr ago, but I was the one who had the m8 goin out with my brother, I lost them both for a while but got my brother back. This is what your mate could be scared of!
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reader, bonym +, writes (31 August 2006):
 Whats it got to do with your friend, so what if he is her brother, you are an adult and so is he. I really cant understand why she is p***** off with you, its absurd. Perhaps she is a tad jealous of you, but really my dear, you are both adults and you can date who you want to. Have a good talk with her and explain that he is someone you care deeply for and really, its not her place to be annoyed at you just cos you like her brother. Take care. xXx
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reader, xxcat +, writes (31 August 2006):
hi yar i went through this about 2 years ago and i lived next door to my m8, u noticed i said lived, well we still live there but we are no loger friends. I to told them keep me out of it (oh she was married to!) but when her family found out it was all my fault, i ended up falling out with my brother and my m8 and gettin lots of stick from her family, my brother evern fell out with our mum and dad as thay also had all s--t cumin to there door. i no there is no wife or husband, but u could lose a m8, but then and again u might not, what u need to ask yourself is....would u be ok if u lost them both?Its a hard one as it could all work out good for u. just thought i'd post this to let u know what COULD happern.ps/ u friend just scared of losein a friend
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): It's not her decision who you get attracted to and i think very person on earth wishes they had a choice of who they fall in love with, and it's not like you're related to him or anything. This friend doesn't sound like a very compromising person, but friendship should be about beng there for each other and a give take thing. By the way have you got other friends you can talk to about it?I mean friends who can give you honest, helpful advice. She sound's like a control freak who needs to be stood up to, even if she's got issues. You should be firm with her and say how strongly you feel about her brother and that you understand it might be a bit hard for her but it will make you happy, and a good friend should be prepared to make some sacrifices. You have nothing to feel guilty about and if it was me, i would probably go out with him anyway. But that's me!! It's up to you if you want to lay down whenever she asks. Eitherway do what would feel better for yourself x
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reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (31 August 2006):
 I suppose it depends on who is more important to you, your best mate or her brother. I know she is acting a little immature about all this, I'd be happy if my brother was with one of my mates, as I know she'd treat him right! Anyway, she is obviously finding it hard to accept and I think you need to respect those wishes if you want to keep her as a friend.
Sometimes, siblings can be very protective over each other without realising it. She may not want anyone taking his attention away, in a strange way, because when you've spend years with someone, like brothers and sisters do, it can be hard to see them go off with someone else, especially when it's someone they are close to as well.
I say talk to her. Tell her how you feel about her brother and tell her that you will treat him right and that you both deserve to be happy. Then you have to decide: is the friendship worth losing just to go out with this guy? Do you think it will last with him or will you lose her for a quick 2 week relationship?
Good luck
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reader, bonnismiles +, writes (31 August 2006):
 hi hen well lets see i thinkyour friend doesnt want you to go out with her brother she wants her best friend sh doesnt want to lose you i know you will stay friends but it will be a wee bit weird for her usually going out partying with you to sharing time with her brother and i think thats why her rother doesnt want to say anythhing he doesnt want to hurt her feelings hen take care xx
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