A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for six months, but our relationship is secret because I'm 17 and he's 30. This is my first serious relationship, but he's had lots of girlfriends before, but he's hardly ever been faithful. At the beginning of our relationship he was still texting his ex girlfriend. I let it go because he said there was nothing going on - they were just still friends, and once I found out he stopped. However, I just found out that he's got back in contact with another ex girlfriend. I've asked him to stop texting her because it makes me feel jealous (and I'm concerned because she doesn't know he has a girlfriend), and he's stopped, but seems very depressed now and it's caused lots of problems. He thinks I've overreacted and that I don't trust him. Am I overreacting or is it fair to ask him not to speak to his ex girlfriend? I know he loves me, but I think he still has feelings for her. He says I'm paranoid and that it's ruining our relationship. Is he right?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jaxwardle86 +, writes (3 June 2007):
 Why is your relationship secret your 17 it isn't against the law and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I was 16 when I met my now husband who was 29 at the time and although things aren't running smothly certainly secrets and lies won't help you here. Maybe he thinks where it is secret he can get away with it. Tell him you want to go public and see what he says if he gets scared its cos he's hiding something Jax xoxox
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): It seems to me that the strain of keeping your relationship is getting to him, and as a result he is thinking about other relationships which - while they didn't work out - did not have this particular issue in them. I'm not saying you shouldn't be in a relationship with him, just that your age difference is bound to cause problems, and not just if other people found out and disapprove.
I can understand why he might do such a thing but you need to have a rational discussion with him and explain why this is hurting you. Ask him why he seems so down (it may be something unrelated...he may not even be sure, people do get down from time to time for seemingly no reason).
If your relationship is strong enough you will work it out.
I hope it goes well for you
x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007): ok im a guy and all i have to say is..you shouild already know what is going on. if the dude is 30, and youre 17, its almost obvious what hes going for. you both are on WAYY different maturity levels. im assuming you guys are intimate. and if you really are, theres no question that you, i hate to say it, are a booty call. ditch the pedofile and find a guy your own age..
sorry to be so harsh but cmon!!!
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (2 June 2007):
 If he's happy with you then he doesn't have any need to text any of his ex's. That's WHY their ex's, because it didn't work out. I would certainly feel insecure in any relationship I had where my partner kept texting his ex so I think you're right to ask him not to do it or at least ask him why he does it.
What do you think? DO you trust him?
Eve
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