A
female
age
41-50,
*ules9
writes:I'm a 29 yr old female, who has been single forever, I just don't think it's on, as people say that I am warm, considerate,kind, generous, well basically everything any one would actually want.All the people I have asked, have said they just want me as a friend, which is fine, but it would be nice to have someone, it's compassion I really want, it someone to talk to about anything, that they will love and understand me whatever! I of course will feel the same, I have been hurt a few times by people who just want me for any other reason mainly money. I try so hard! On the odd occasion I don't try at all and just hope something might happen. I hope someone can offer some advice!
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (4 August 2012):
Don’t give up on friendships. The best relationships start from good friendships. You can find all the things you describe with close friends. The point to remember is that whilst people often talk about there being some-one for everyone, they forget that, even if that’s true, those people who find some-one who’s the right one for them early in life have had a bit of good luck. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you and no obvious reason why this absence of a relationship exists. It might help you to know that you’re far from alone with this. You should firstly try and widen your social circle as much as possible. Don’t allow this to affect other areas of your life and overwhelm you, because there’s a danger that relationship anxieties can undermine confidence and cause you to become withdrawn and isolated. It may be a cliché but try as hard as you can to accept yourself and be happy with yourself. Secondly, what have you tried to meet some-one? People often go to bars and clubs, which is about the worst thing you could do to meet some-one. So long as you follow all common sense safety measures, internet dating is a great way to be introduced to like-minded people, and the advantage of that is that you can find out a bit about each other before you meet, for example likes and dislikes, and relationship expectations. You must enter it with an open mind and not expect too much from everyone who messages or who views your profile, but it’s a great way to be introduced to interesting people even if you don’t meet some-one straight away.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (4 August 2012):
 You aren't the only one in this situation. I am still single at 40, and I fully agree with Blonde30's. I have found it is sometimes easier and more fulfilling to be single. I had one serious relationship of 8 years and thought he was the one. Then one day he just stopped working on the relationship and just being a kind person. I know people change, but I was devastated that they (and everything else) could change that much. Even if you're in a relationship you think is going to work, sometimes it doesn't work out.
I consider myself to be kind and generous too. I currently have a boyfriend, but I am not sure I will ever get married. I am like you, I want a companionship and someone I can be passionate about. A lot of people just don't want that. They want to get married then live separate lives. Hang in there. There is nothing wrong with you. It is just hard finding the person who is right for you.
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