A
female
age
26-29,
*randomgirl16
writes:i really like this older guy and we have been secretly together for the past 7 months but my sadly i am not allowed to date. should i tell my parents? how do i keep this older guy interested in only me and no other girl? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): I would be very careful he may actually love you but its more likey that he wants to take advantage of u dont do anything u dont want to do and if i trys to make u make it clear to him u dont want to and i would tell your parents very soon because parents always find things out and i think they would rather u told them than found out from someone else hope this helps best of luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): One thing- take it easy. A LOT (not all, but a lot) of older guys only go after younger girls to take advantage of them. Also, he is in a totally different level of life as you and that will just cause heartache in the end. You are too young to be worrying about all this drama anyways- trust me, being in a relationship really isn't something you need. Focus on having fun and enjoying life. All the people I know who stayed single during their younger years are MUCH happier and have much more successful relationships. This is because you need to take time to figure yourself out and mature before you can truly settle. All the girls I know who got into a relationship from ages 10-15 can't hold a relationship for long, are pretty miserable, and let people use them for sex. They have also always gone after older guys.Trust me, you owe it to yourself to enjoy your teen years and just have fun. If you want some male attention, go out on some light fluffy dates. You get some candy, cuddles, and some making out/hand holding without the drama of premature monogamy and disobeying your parents. Plus, it will help you prepare for your later more serious relationships.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): If you're scared to tell your parents, you should probably break up with this guy. If he really is a lot older than you, you're definitely putting yourself in a bad situation. He could very easily use, manipulate or take advantage of you. If your parents do find out, he could go to jail for statutory rape if you are sleeping with him. You are too young to get yourself into this kind of situation; the consequences could turn out to be more than you can handle. Realize that your parents' rules are there for your own good, and wait until you are older and more mature before you start a relationship.
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female
reader, shapoopsy +, writes (3 September 2010):
 If the older male you've been dating is 18 or older, you may want to consider talking to your parents. It is not uncommon for one to use their age difference to manipulate or even abuse the younger individual.
Any way you slice it, it could never work without your parents' consent. It might be a good idea to hold off on this guy and start the dating conversation with your parents again.
Sneaking around really stinks and it jeopardizes any trust your parents have in you. Take care of you! ~Shapoopsy
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 September 2010):
 If he really cares about you then he will not be interested in any other girl. If he is just with you for sex then he is likely to stray.
Can I ask what precisely you mean by "keeping him interested"? It is not a typical scenario. If he likes you then he is interested. And I think he must like you since he has been with you for 7 months already. So you must be doing an okay job with keeping him interested as such. Typically at this stage of a relationship it has gotten more serious and is what you would call a sincere relationship. It is more than just a fling or a flirt. The infatuation period is starting to wear out. At this point it isn't about keeping the interest, but about giving of yourself to maintain a good relationship, and keeping the love alive. It is always a task to not fall into a rut, no matter how long a couple have been together. Don't take each other for granted. And treat each other with respect. You could also read up, online or in magazines, on how to maintain a good relationship. I think this would be what you are interested in at this point.
As for telling your parents.. well it depends on how old you are and how old he is. Your age is stated to be between 13 and 15. There is a huge difference between a 13-year old and a 15-year old. As well as there being a huge difference in wether or not this boy is 2 years older or 15 years older. For one there is a social taboo involved when a couple has a large age difference. Second, there is a general social conception that people who are under the age of sexual consent should not be dating people who are over the age of consent. This because any sexual relationship would be illegal in such a case, and because most assume that dating eventually leads to sex.
Which is probably why your parents don't want you to date, they think you are too young to live like a grown up and have a grown-up relationship (having sex). Also, an older boy will be more likely to try and use you for sex. Young girls are easily manipulated. Just because they say they love doesn't always mean they actually do. If any boy tries to make you have sex with him and sweet-talk you into it, you should be very suspicious.
If your guy is sincere, not older than you by more than say 2-3 years, and you are not having sex with him, and he will agree to meet your parents... then maybe you could tell them.
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female
reader, bookworm  +, writes (3 September 2010):
 What I'd really like to know is how old this older man is? If he isnt pressuring you, and he isnt asking for things you are not willing to give him, why not tell your parents? If you trust him, and show that to your parents, and they see that he respects you, they will likely follow suit. From experience, I know that sneaking around is hard. And I kept it like that, but it would be much easier for you if you let your parents know. Hope I helped.
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reader, HeavensAngel +, writes (3 September 2010):
 I think you should break it off with this person. You have not stated his age. If he is a mature age man, you are only going to be hurt in the end. And he should know better. I am speaking from my experience.I was married at 15, my guy was 27. I missed out on my teenage years. It is said when that happens that you tend to make up for them yrs. later.And that I did. It doesn't work!! If he is a mature man he is comitting a crime and you will be assumed as innocent but you really wouldn't be. If this is the case, do you want to see that happen? I f you are dateing a guy a few years younger then to me that is different. You should be honest with your parents. Talk to them.
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (3 September 2010):
 Hi, yes certainly let your parents know then you won't get yourself into deep waters that may be beyond your control. If they don't mind you dating this older man because he seems a nice polite trustworthy guy then you can be in a safe environment. Hope this helps
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