A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i never get ready to accpet my boyfriend when having sex and I am always very dry what can i do.I was raped the first time and ever since then i cant make love without any pain.Are there any drugs that would work ?
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 Are you sure that your partner is up to this? It needs someone patient and tolerant to bring you back to the world of loving.
Perhaps your partner needs to consider the concept of sex without intercourse. There are lots of things you can do. If he really finds it unacceptable to have sex without intercourse, I don't think he should be doing anything with you.
Also, I can appreciate the dryness, but surely anyone who is trying to ease you into sex is not going to just poke their thing in there -- the least they could do is go down on you so that you're a bit juicy when they try intercourse!
Somehow it sounds to me like your partner is too eager for the beaver to really do things right.
A
male
reader, JTalbott  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 Your experience is a common reaction to sexual trauma.
In a very unfair way, your initial traumatic experience is creating secondary traumatic experiences. Talking with someone experienced with sexual trauma or meeting with a support group of other people who have experienced what you experienced may help you sort out your feeling and come to a more peaceful resolution.
The sooner you take these positive steps for yourself, the less longterm impact it will have in your life.
*hugs*
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (26 March 2007):
 First of all, you need to talk to someone. If you feel uncomfortable about having sex it's most likely due to the rape. It's a horrible deed that has been done to you because it violates not only the body but the soul and most people can't get over it just like that but need professional help. Please give it a try.
Second, in order to be less dry; use lube.
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (26 March 2007):
 Taking drugs to solve this problem would be silly if you haven't tried other things first. How about KY Jelly or some other form of lubricant? Or maybe get even further to the root of the problem and have some counselling to come to terms with your past experience and learn to see sex as an enjoyable thing rather than a scary thing.
CD
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