A
female
age
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*ola333
writes:As if my life was not weird enough my boyfriends boss is singling me out for harassment. He is a teacher at a local school. She is the principal. I am not at all sure how to deal with this. I noticed about 2 years ago when she started working there that she seemed attracted to him. She is single. He noticed it to. He was actually the one who brought it to my attention. She even went so far as to tell him that she loved him and put a happy face and LOL on his last review. She has also hugged him. He showed me his review. I found it weird but dismissed it. I myself have never had such an unprofessional review but whatever. I volunteer at his school. I have for years. His entire department knows me. One teacher even asked for me to come in and work on some computer stuff for her that is how comfortable his department is with me. I do this to help. I am just trying to help my community. This school is a completely public school. All members of the public except for registered sex offenders are supposed to be allowed on the grounds as long as they check in with the office. This is where it gets weird. She has only been the principal for 3 years. Last year she sent him an email after seeing me on campus and told him he should not allow me on campus. People visit their spouses and partners for lunch etc all the time. His own children and former students drop by unnanounced all the time. I don't go unless he has asked me to have lunch with him, or drop off something he forgot, like his lunch. So last week he asked me to bring his cell phone, come and have lunch with him. So I went to the office and the staff there made a big deal about how they have to contact him by calling him to see if he knew I was coming before I would be allowed to go to his office. I explained that I was there to drop off his phone at his request. That is why I was there but luckily they reached him on the classroom phone. I should mention that I asked him after this if they have ever called him before to ask if he was expecting say parents who were coming to visit him and he said no. I am the only one in his 25 years of teaching that they have called about. He also said that they don't ask anyone else to even go the the office and get a pass. Just me.Yesterday the principal came to his classroom after school and told him that I am a "person of suspicion" and that I will always be required to check in at the office even if I am with him. What the hell! I am so angry right now. I want to go and file a formal complaint against her but he wants me to let it go. I have polled a bunch of my friends and none of them have to check in at the office when they visit that school much less have someone called to verify why they are there. I say she is so obsessed with him that she has lost her mind. I don't know what recourse there is but I do not intend to stop having lunch with him. I rarely do anyway. But what if anything else should I do. I am just dumbfounded. He wouldn't tell me why I am a "person of suspicion". I got the feeling she wasn't very forthcoming and he refuses to discuss it with her. Any help would be appreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (10 March 2013):
Good to hear she's gone! Your bf's reaction kinda worries me though. I mean seriously, she labels you as a 'person of suspicion' and he picks her side? I'd talk to him about this because now I wonder if there was something more going on
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (9 March 2013):
 Hooray!!! I am glad she is out of your hair for good!! and probably best to just avoid talking about her ever again to your husband...he's on the wrong side of the fence for not supporting you, but I am sure it will die down x
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A
female
reader, Lola333 +, writes (9 March 2013):
Lola333 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust an update!!! She got fired! That is right, apparently the district had many people complain about her and her contract is not being renewed. Yay. Now, I can volunteer. The only problem is my guy says that he thinks she is the best principal they have ever had. I asked him if what she did to me meant nothing to him? He said that I am responsible for her disliking me because I didn't sign in that one time. I can't wait to find a job and get out of this loony bin.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (20 October 2012):
I'd say she definitely has a personal issue with you and is exerting her power to 'punish' you.
I have seen lots of petty issues in schools, the worst is the PTA...made me shudder to see such bitchiness and snobbery (my kids went to a church school when they were little)
You are absolutely right that it is defamation and using the word 'suspicion' makes you sound untrustworthy.
I would definitely write to the school board nd at least voice your concerns.
If she's no longer friendly with your husband, well that's a good thing and lets hope she diverts her attentions elsewhere from now on.
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A
female
reader, Lola333 +, writes (19 October 2012):
Lola333 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHere is an update. I got more out of him. She said I was a person of suspicion because about a year ago I was on campus fixing his computer and the campus supervisor saw me and I had not checked in. I guess his assumption is that I was defying him by not signing in. I never had to before so I was honestly unaware of this new rule.So even though my boyfriend was there the entire time literally standing next to me she came out of her office to get me and make me sign in. I aways sign in now but never had to when the prior 2 principals were there. I get why people have to do it. But this makes me a person of suspicion? For that? Because once I didn't do it?I do think it is defamation of character to call me a person of suspicion. I mean come on. Anyway, he also told me she is no longer friendly to him. Wonder why???
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 October 2012):
 I would work my way up the school board chain... first whomever she reports to, then if you don't get satisfaction go from there.
I would NOT mention your bf in this....
I am betting the principal is irrationally jealous of you and this is her "punishment"
I am sure she had to justify her reasons.. if she did not, hopefully her supervisors will make her and her irrational behavior will be shown.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 October 2012):
 I would dig into that contact the School board, that sounds utterly ridiculous.
What she called you a "person of suspicion" what are you supposed to be doing wrong?
She sounds nuts honestly.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (18 October 2012):
Sounds like your guy doesn't want o make waves because maybe he fears for his job.
As you have previously had access to volunteer and there has been no incident to raise suspicion, I think you should contact the school governers or the education board and ask for an explaination.
I know schools here in the UK can be a hotbed of gossip and low grade pettiness and usually the final call rests with the head teacher...I am sure the same goes on in the states. That said, it is defamation of character and you have a right to know why you are now under suspicion.
Your boyfriend needs to decide which side of the fence he is on. I can understand him protecting his job, but you'd think he would divulge what was said, especially as he is sharing a bed with you.
The fact that the other staff are now being flaky with you, suggests that something has been said...and the only one who isn't in on the info is you.
I sympathise and I think I agree with you that it has something to do with how she feels about your man.
Don't let her get away with it grrrrrr!!!!!
Good Luck
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