A
male
age
36-40,
*yronm21
writes:So I've known a girl for a few years now and when I tried to let her know I had a crush on her she told me she thought I was just a friend. We have hung out, just the two of us since then. I also picked her up from work early when she was sick. Then she had stopped taking my calls or answering my face book messages. I did ask her if she was OK and if there was anything I could help her with, but she didn't reply. I even apologized because I thought she was ignoring me because of something I did. Turns out she had a boyfriend for about 2 months, I found out on my own. She didn't say anything to me about it. Around a week later since I sent her a message, she replies. She says she is OK, there isn't any serious problem she is in. She also said I shouldn't get mad if she doesn't reply to my calls or messages. She ended the message by saying that she will send me a message and we will meet up soon. I suppose she doesn't know that I know she has a boyfriend. A week later I sent her another message asking how she was and if everything was still OK with her. No reply. I know she has seen the message, and I know she hasn't stopped replying to any of her other guy friend messages since she had a boyfriend. I'm struggling to understand this. I don't know if she is trying to not hurt my feelings or she doesn't want to tell me because she wants to keep me around as a future option or she's using me? Has this happened to any other guys out there? Also, ladies have you done this to any guys? Can I have some possible reasons?
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male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (19 October 2012):
 No, she doesn't want you as a boyfriend and never will. She doesn't keep in regular contact with you because she doesn't want to string you along. Don't hold a hope she will want you because she wont. You need to write her off fast. Do not call her or message anymore. None of this will help or get her to want you. I've been in this situation a few times myself and never had a good result. However, now that I'm older, this never happens to me anymore because I would have pulled out by now if I were in your situation. Sorry to be so blunt with you but I'm trying to help.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 October 2012):
 she's not into you that's what it is.
to be honest she's made it clear that "don't call me I'll call you" is on the table for you...
she does NOT view you as boyfriend material or even close friend material... clearly you are an acquaintance that wants more and she feeds you just enough of a bone to keep you hanging on...
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