A
male
age
41-50,
*obert2
writes:3 years ago during the summer of 2006 I met my fiance at a family get together she was friends with one of my sisters and we hit it of great. We got engaged in Spetember 2008. we got in to a car accident coming home froma news years eve party 2008 and she passed away as a result. I know that that the accident was not myfault and that there was nothign I could have doen to prevent it form happening but I stil do put soen blame on myself. I thought as the days and months went on that i would coem to terms more with everything, but I am not. It seems to eb gettign worse. My friends keep telling me that I have to go out and try dating , but I dont feel right abotu it. I hate hanging out with my friends because it makes me realize that they are all in relsationship and I am single. What can I do to move on and just live, right now i feel like an enotional zombie.``
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): Robert, this accident was life changing for you. you are still mourning and you need to get professional help. maybe you never had a chance to say goodbye therefore it is so hard to move on. i have always read about people facing similar demons who write letters to their loved ones, putting all their thoughts , fears, unsaid previous words and love on paper. maybe you should try doing this as part of a healing process. please take care and know this, you were not at fault. yes you still feel guilty but in the end you are alive. you survived and slowly you need to move on. mourn more if you need to but one day (i am hoping soon) you need to get some sort of closure. you do not have to forget your fiance but remember the good, the bad , the sad and the cherished memory you have of her. then with proper counselling move on slowly. you don't have to forget her, but start finding a reason for living again. i really wish you well and to all the aunts out there, this story should serve to remind us to cherish the ones we have in our lives, we need to take care of our kids, not harming them deliberately. loving our spouses/partners. ending cheating/betrayal. being there for one another and just being the best person we can be. time to take stock of our lives and to make peace with our lot in life. it is not easy but we need to address this. Take care everyone and God Bless each and everyone reading this.
A
female
reader, mzredbone +, writes (28 October 2009):
Im very sorry about your loss.I know that people will keep saying you will get through it or get over it eventually,but the truth is,you never ever will get over it.But i will tell you that you need to find someway of coping with this matter in a proper way,because if you dont it will tear you up inside and out,because,i lost my brother June 2008.and honestly i almost let the grief take over my life,but i realized that he loved me and would want me to be happy and to try to live the rest of life.So maybe you should take some of your friends advice and go out and meet some new people r situations.If you arent ready to date then thats fine too,but at least give it a chance,
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A
female
reader, Ravenxx91  +, writes (28 October 2009):
 Your still greiving... i would go and see a cousellor to help. But give it time, you may not be ready yet x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): I went through a divorce that left me devastated. People were like get back out there and I was not ready. This was 3 years ago and I am still sad. My advice, is to go to counseling as well and talk to someone that can listen. This a horrible thing you went through and I am so sorry about it. Take your time and grive , there is no time limit on grieving. Be sure to exercize and eat well to avoid getting into a depression so deep that it is hard to rebound.
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A
female
reader, RCK  +, writes (27 October 2009):
Go see a councellor. You not ready to date so don't push yourself. It takes time to heal and 2008 was not long ago so it is understandable it won't feel right. Just find a great friend/stranger or a councellor who you can speak with about the emotion you feel right now or even start writing a diary/poems to help you get your anger, loneliness, hurt, saddness and confusion out in the open. You need a listener not a lecture.
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A
male
reader, adamskidude +, writes (27 October 2009):
 you need more time to recover, the heart heals slowly. Don't feel pressured into dating again, just give yourself time. When you're ready you'll know.
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