A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:In 15 years of marriage,( second marriage for both of us ), my wife has been sick or injured more times than I can count.Car wrecks, falling down stairs, back injuries, broken legs, hips, collar bones, arms, wrists, and even a concusion that resulted in a 8 day coma.All self inflicted, meaning clumsy, or accidents...no outside help.How much more can a supportive and loving husband take? Not only taking care of her and all the hospital time, but medical bills we'll never be able to pay off. I love her, but it's taking it's toll on me too. What options do I have?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2011): Does she have a medical condition that relates to her balance : meaning she is incapable of maintianing proper balance and the end result are all these accidents?
U are a good hb who has invested time and effort in your injury prone wife. I hope she realises what a good hb she really has
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 November 2011):
 Have the doctors discussed a possible osteoporosis? How's her weight, is she underweight? How's her health aside from when she breaks a bone?
How's your insurance? Have you talked to social welfare, or looked into volunteer organisations that might offer some help, such as house cleaning so you have time to look after her, or maybe someone who can look after her a few times when she has an accident?
Your marriage vows said for better or worse... You need to just stick to it. There's not really an option of leaving is there? Have you thought about moving though? Moving to a location where better health care, or cheaper health care, and better help is provided? Look into it. I know in Norway people who have relatives or children with disabilities, or in need of extra health care, often need to move to a municipality that has a better offer for them, or actual help if there is no help to get at their original home. It's too bad that people need to move, but think about it. People in Norway are also knows to travel abroad for surgeries as they are cheaper abroad. You could look into that as well.
Or wrap her up in bubble wrap and have her wear a helmet.
Hang in there!
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A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (26 November 2011):
 I don't suppose the words "For better or worse, in sickness and in health" were in your wedding vows. Stuff happens. What if it was you going through all this trauma yourself & she was writing to us about what to do? Get support from family & friends. Get her neuro & psych work-ups & remember your vows.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 November 2011):
 Well, if all this is just due to sheer bad luck, just asking " what options do I have " sounds a bit harsh to me . Why, what options would you want ? jumping ship ? your vows said " in sickness and in health"- I am sure you would not appreciate if (God forbid and touch wood ) you 'd end up paralized on a wheelchair and you'd wife would say " Oh bummer. When I married you ,you were so much fun, you were a great dancer, a great swimmer, - now instead, .... I wonder what options I have ".
But , I must say that this is an unbelievable number of accidents and fractures in 15 years, so I wonder if there MIGHT be a reason behind it. Like, she has some big undetected problem with motor coordination skills, maybe she should see a neurologist . Or , her eyesight is poor and she does not realize it , or does not want to admit it, and trips on things . Or ( pardon me ) she drinks secretly behind your back. Or, is she depressed , is she upset about something , is she unhappy with her life ? There's a current of thought that says being accident prone is a subconscious cry for help and attention, it's not like the person willingly will throw herself down the stairs, but she won't be as sharp and prudent and she won't use the normal caution in daily activities as another person.
In conclusion, before you feel totally overwhelmed by this situation, it may be worth convincing her to have a complete physical check up and to see a psychologist. You never know.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (26 November 2011):
 Hi,You are an amazing husband... You've been through so much, and never said a bad word about your wife. It's just unfortunate situations, and your poor wife has no fault at all. As much as you love your wife dearly, I feel that you are not happy with her. There's absolutely no one to blame, but with the daily life struggles, sometimes the passion can fade away. The big question is, do you think you, and your wife can re-kindle what was there before all these accidents happened? Do you still love your wife romantically? Do you think that together, you can make this relationship enjoyable? I am sure in the beginning of the marriage, you both had passion, romance, happiness, enjoy being with each other, etc. Do you think that can be possible again? If so, yes! You should work on the marriage... But, if you think that this marriage is more attachment, then I think you should talk to your wife, and decide what's the best decision for the both of you. If you continue living this way, it might lead to depression, stress, and sadness. No one should live life this way. I know, you are here asking answers because you have doubts, you are getting tired, but also have tremendous guilt.... I don't blame you to feel this way, it might even feel like betrayal, after all, she's a good person, and 15 years is a very long time. This is very difficult, and there's no right answer. I guess, you just have to trust your heart... Best wishes/ good luck
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