A
female
age
30-35,
*oniqueEE
writes:Hi,Following a recent break-up,my ex has been calling and getting in touch with me. We're friends but with the conversations I get annoyed because it seems that he still has control over me, or believes that he does and I need to stop it.Should I ignore all means of communication? I don't want to seem hostile, I just can no longer appear to be at his beck and call. Most importantly, I need him to know that I'm fine without him, every time he gets in contact...I just feel that he pulls me back to square one.He broke it off, its not fair that he gets to think I'm suffering. Last night he came over to collect something, and it was fine I kept it brief and didnt let him come in. We said goodbye and he turned to leave, but then he turned back and hugged me and said jokingly, 'You'll be ok' at which I punched him and we laughed together and he left.I know I've allowed us to be friends but honestly I think I've been a idiot and allowed it maybe too soon. We joke about things but I don't like this attitude of I'm the one thats suffering while he's fine. What should I do? I should get to be in control, its my life... he broke up with me! So why the torment!!Sometimes I wish I could completely forget who he is...
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 April 2010):
I think you would be best to cut all contact. Sometimes you have to make a cleat statement to someone to make your point heard, and this is one of those times.
A
female
reader, sweetspicy  +, writes (9 April 2010):
 If it makes you feel uncomfortable to talk to him, than dont. Is he mistakening your kindness for weakness? Dont let him walk on you like that, next time he calls tell him your buisy and hang up. I dated a guy that I was friends with and when we broke up it was tormenting to still talk to him but this is how he got over me. Maybe your ex is doing what mine did spending time with you to get over you, pushing you into the friend zone.
...............................
A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (9 April 2010):
 I don't think its hostile at all to cut ties with exes. You'd be quite right to stop all communication, especially since you find the communication upsetting! Don't respond to him and unfriend him, if he asks why, let him know you didn't appreciate the way he was talking, and you think its best not to stay friends. You're not obligated to be friends with anyone who isn't family!
...............................
|
