A
male
age
26-29,
*afer16
writes:hey, my name is maria. im 13 years old, and my boyfriend is 15.weve been together for a year, and im ready to have sex for my first time. im not scared or anything, but i am nervous!its not his first time, so i dont know what he expects out of me.we both really love eachother, but will it hurt me? will it bleed at that moment? what should i take? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): if you feel you are ready than there is nothing any of us can do to stop you, so instead of telling you not to do it I'll tell you what to do, so that it can be a wonderful experiece and safe too.
I cannot though stop myslef from telling you wait a while more. My first time was at the age of 16 and it wasnt great at all. even though i felt ready as you say, deep down, alter on I knew i wasnt, an dthis still haunts me.
nevertheless i cnt stress the CONDOM usage. use a CONDOM. CONDOM CONDOM CONDOM! please, for the love if god, use a CONDOM! if you can too please be on t he pill. the more the merrier.
second, relax. when the time is right you will feel more nervous, and that will make u contract your pelvis and vagina, this the first thrust will hurt like hell, so relax. to help aid t his pain, try "pushsing" like if you were going to pee really hard. it helps. ask him to be ontop too. you will prolly not feel a thing the first time.
but really, what they say is true, dnt do it if your nervous. i mean, it should be something special and unpredictable. dnt plan it head. let it happen.
but please, promise me that you will think a but more about this..
love.
A
female
reader, andieboo  +, writes (19 April 2009):
Just don't do it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): i agree you're too young so don't do it but i'd like to say a few thing to the aunts on here:lotus mama808 - hepatitis c isn't sexually transmitted so why does it matter about that!and to the person who said that you can't be in love at 13, why not?
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female
reader, brokenandconfused +, writes (20 December 2008):
 sweetheart, i'm a virgin and i'm 17. many times i have wanted to give in to every boy who told me i was pretty and should have sex with them. one guy even told me sex would make me prettier. this really confused me! all i'm saying is wait until u know ur ready. your whole life can be wasted if you decide to have sex and get pregnant. he's gonna run away and leave you with the responsibility of taking care of his child alone.love is blind it can take over your mind what you think is love and is truly not you need to elevate and find...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Your only 13 years old. You dont want to have sex yet unless you want to have the reputation of being called a slut.
I would wait, its just a fling. It will eventually pass. Trust me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008): idk i'm still virgin and i love it,maybe u should wait like how i am waiting
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): condoms.
get birthcontrol at the clinic.
and
DUHH OF COURSE ITS GONNA HURT!!
depending on how "big." he is; is how bad it will hurt.
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male
reader, Cody765 +, writes (22 September 2008):
I'm 15 and now ex girlfriend wanted to have sex. We started talking of what we were going to do but i took a long time to think and i knew it wasn't right, i was feeling uncomptable.
Most teenagers don't think about the consequences, trust me i've done alot of crap with my friend (nothing illegal hehe).
Yeah 13 is young, 15 is too. You shouldn't be pressured into having sex because he's 15 and has had sex before.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): ok look if you really want to have sex then think about these 3 things
*abortion-painful and pratically like murder
*pills-sometimes dont work
*condom-could split
come on anything could go wrong and result in you getting pregnant..could you look after the baby??
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female
reader, Teenage-Rebel  +, writes (20 May 2008):
 Its your age what has attracted me to this question.
I can't give you advice like everyone else here has but one thing i can say is that you really should think about it as this is something really serious. Your too young like most people will say and also if you do this you will lose your virginity and that is something you will never to get back.
Read everyone else's comments and most importantly
Think !!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): you cant be 13 and be in love with someone. you dont even know what love is.
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female
reader, carlsgirl +, writes (20 May 2008):
oh and these pple who are telling you bout getting stds and pregnant...if you use a condom and birth control pills, you won't get pregnant and wont have to worry about what they are saying. they are trying to scare you cuz you are a little young but if its really what you and your bf want, then go ahead. but make sure you use as much protection as possible.
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reader, carlsgirl +, writes (20 May 2008):
I JUST lost mine like two days ago so I know what your going through. I'm 15 and lost it to a 25 year old. If your bf knows that your a virgin, then hopefully he will take it easy on you for a little bit. It did hurt at first. Like whenever it was first going in, there was pressure there but then it felt like nothing. It shouldnt bleed at all. If it does, then its normal. And i was nervous too. It's just really the idea that something new is traveling down there really cuz once you two start, you wont feel that way anymore. Trust me, it only hurt a little bit for a second or two and then it was fine. Hope everything works out fine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): look i'm about your age ... please don't you will probably get pregnant and completely regret it. As its up to you none of us can convince you to not have sex but you will regret it. you'll feel humiliated and used once he leaves. even if you dont think he will he will. love is blind. please don't. yes it will hurt and you will bleed. please wait. plus you are under the legal age to have sex. if you do have sex and fall pregnant you will have to look after it. your parents will probably go nuts and you won't be able to go out with your friends anymore, you won't be able to go to school coz u'll be a full time mum. think about it do you really want to bring a baby into the world when you can't look after it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): Oh I forgot... Tell him to take his time and be real slow and make sure that you are as exited as him before you begin. The more relaxed you are, the easier it will go for you.
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female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (20 May 2008):
 UGH! Is this some kind of joke? Probably not, huh? OK, here's a true story of a girl named Allie, was my best friends sister. She was 13 once. Had sex with a guy she "loved", whatever that means to kids anymore...Got pregnant. She had the baby boy when she just turned 14. Her parents help her, but she is a full time mommy now. No prom, no schooling, NO FATHER FOR THE KID, cause he was "too young to deal with this", no money, except what the government of the USA give her, which come from my tax dollars, and now knows, that she was SUPER DUMB! And people like me have to pay for her stupidity. I don't mean to be so harsh, but the reality of this is harsh. Go back to class, learn what "hepititis-C" means, and what an "epidural" or "C section" is. If that dosnt freak you out enough, go to a hospital, talk to some AIDS victims. By the way, if you do get knocked up, the man, I mean kid, you love, WILL BAIL, for sure, no question. Thats my advice. More education. MUCH MORE!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): I want you to be scared, I want you to be nervous. You are very, very young to be having sex. It is a big decision you are making when you decide to give your virginity to this boy who've been going out with for only one year. Think very carefully about this. Once you have sex you can't cry in the pillow because it's not what you expected, it hurt and left you feeling ashamed and bruised.
It is difficult to know what advice to give you in this situation. Of course you must make sure you have some form of protection or contraception, so you don't get pregnant or catch some disease that you will pass on to your next partner.
It's just that your so young. Many young girls come on this site looking for advice about sex. But you are amongst the rare group who are wanting to have sex before your even 14. Your partner is older than you and you are not yet fully formed. Have you started your periods already. Your body is still growing and wasn't meant to have sex. Since your partner is older, he is probably larger and may tear you inside.
There is usually pain, and sometimes blood when you loose your virginity. But because of your age it may be more difficult for you than normal. If you are determined to have sex then ensure you do it in the most comfortable place possible. Your nervous as it is, if your watching the door waiting for your mother to come in, it'll be a disaster (and very painful) for both of you.
Take your time and try to relax. It's not his first time, so he'll know what to do. Make sure you don't do anything that you don't want to. If he dose anything you do not like, then ask him to stop. You may find that you are sore for several days afterwards and maybe unable to close your legs. A relaxing bath should help with this.
I wish you would reconsider, sex changes a relationship. He's already had sex with someone else, so he must have loved someone before. They had sex, but the relationship still broke up. Sex will also bring change to your relationship and may cause it to finish more quickly than it should end.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): hunny you are so young, you may think your ready but you will regret this. take it from someone who has been exactlly where you are at your age, i regret it.
but since you probably dont care that i think you are to young, you still need to know that this is the guy you will remember for ever. and as cleshe as it sounds, it only happens once, so please consider not doping it... youll be be glad you didnt
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (20 May 2008):
 I will not say you are too young. Whether I think this or not, you will have sex anyway and you came here for advice, not to hear how young you are. He knows it is your first time, he shouldn't expect you to be a pro at it. If he does he is a jerk. Your first time will hurt most likely. My first time hurt like hell, and continued to hurt for a few times after. But you are in love as you say so it kind of doesn't matter so much. He should go slow knowing it is your first time and comfort you. You should make sure he wears a condom. Don't let him say anything otherwise. 13 IS too young to have a child. I think most bleed at that moment unless you have already broken your hymen. It makes sense to be nervous but make sure you are 100% comfortable with your boyfriend. Make sure you are safe. Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): well first of all, i know youre set in your ways, but 13 is WAY too young. if you start now, your bf is going to expect it all the time. not to judge your bf, but he probably just wants sex and its possible thats all he really cares about. think about that.
sex too early can cause a lot of mental stress and problems later on in life. just think if youre 13, and youre having sex now, what are you going to do at 16?
if you thought long and hard about it, and still want to go through with it, please make sure you use protection each and every time!
also, its possible you will bleed. and it depends from person to person, but chances are likely it will hurt. at least a little bit.
i would just be careful love. good luck
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male
reader, Transcowboy +, writes (20 May 2008):
 You are too young for sex. You may be ready but your body sure aint. Wait a few years, you will be glad you did
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female
reader, abbie959 +, writes (20 May 2008):
sweetheart you are 13 years old. You are still a child and he is still a child...maybe he hasn't even finished going through puberty...have you?! As soon as you give it away you can not get it back. It's so much better and appropriate to wait until you are older. There are so many consequences that can happen from your actions. Are you ready to be a mom in 9 months? Are you ready for the embarrassment of being pregnant in school and having your school mates talk badly about you? I knew two girls who had kids when they were 15. Lets just say their reputation was ruined. I'm not saying sex is awful. Sex is a beautiful thing and something that should be experienced when you are older and can handle the consequences. If he loves you as you say he does he'll wait...trust me. And yes it usually bleeds when you have sex for the first time and usually hurts/is uncomfortable. If despite my best efforts you decided to go ahead with it, please use a condom. And you should probably get put on birth control (talk to your school nurse about it if you don't want to talk to your parents)
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reader, WastedLife +, writes (20 May 2008):
I almost never say this, but even I think you are too young for this! You can't have sex without dealing with a whole lot of adult situations - a kind of bonding that you're not ready for, the real possibility of pregnancy, STD's, legal consequences for one or both of you(depending on country, state, and other governments), two sets of parents that will have quite unpredictable reactions, and a whole lot more I can't think of right now. What kind of birth control are you planning? Where will you get it? What will you do if you find you are pregnant? How will you know if you are pregnant? What will you do if you find yourself pregnant? What will you do if your parents press charges against your boyfriend?
There is a whole lot more, and I hate to sound like an old parent, but REALLY, this time I'm right. To answer your questions: It might hurt, or not. You might bleed, or not.
What should you take? You should take your time - several years. Be able to answer all the questions I asked and know what your backup plan is if your answer does not work. As I said, these are adult problems and you can't undo some of them.
Good luck. Enjoy your life. Be thoughtful and be careful.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): You are way, way too young to start having sex. Yes, it will hurt, yes it will bleed. What should you take? Birth control pills and a condom (which you should make sure he puts on).
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