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age
41-50,
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writes: I have only been dating this guy for a few weeks but i had such a chemical attraction to him from the very beginning. He says he is interested in seeing where our relationship will go, but he wants to take things slow. I am intellectually 100% OK with that. But emotionally i'm freaking out. Its really hard for me to take things slow because i have a history of self-confidence issues. I'm so worried about putting so much emotional energy into this and having him say..... "lets be friends" Should i just chill out and be patient??? Any advice would be appreciated. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys so much for your help! Original Shiraz and klara, your messages said just what i needed to hear. I feel better for sure. I'm just going to be honest with him and try to focus on my own life. Hopefully with a bit more time for him he will see that we have something going that shouldn't be ignored.
A
female
reader, misswalston  +, writes (2 June 2009):
 Yes, just chill out and be patient. Chemical attraction is a beautiful thing and a very rare thing. You can be physically attracted to someone and want to screw their brains out just hearing their name, but when you have physical and chemical, whew!!!!! I am very physically attracted to my friend, but the chemistry we have in and out of bed is awesome. I love just spending time with him and that does so much for me, but I also know how to not become too overwhelmed with my emotions. I am crazy about him. We are so in tuned with each other's body it is ridiculous!!!! So take things slow like he wants and see where it will take you. Trust me, it will be worth the trip......And also, get your self confidence back. Never lose that......You will be fine, just believe in your relationship........
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A
female
reader, Original shiraz!  +, writes (2 June 2009):
Your right to have set backs on being so relaxed when its something your passionate about.It has to work both ways, a relationship is based on honesty and hes been honest with you so why not do the same, tell him how your feeling, dont scare him off just simply say i have a history of self confidence issues and i just need to know where i stand and where this is going. Im sure hell respect you honesty and its always a good way to start if you want any kind of future.
Your right to be paitent but dont change who you are and what you believe in, your this way for all the right reasons so dont see it as a bad thing, see it as something you simply need to get through in order to succeed.
When it comes to emotions thats all down to you, yes the support and stability of him will help but you need to support and believe yourself, the past wont often repeat itself so dont judge one situation on the bases of a bad one in your past.
If you really like him and want this to go further then he needs to know that, you cant live in hope and wait for his say so, thats no way to live and i dont think thats what you want. Dont let love go to waste due to the what ifs and o if i hadnt said that, to many people live that way and all the good things pass them by.
Best of luck
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