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female
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anonymous
writes: I was with my ex for 9 years,he left me 9 months ago,with no explanation,changed his mobile number,so i couldnt contact him.i have been waiting for things to start getting better,but its just not happening,every day,i miss him more and more,a friend of mine saw him recently,with a new girlfriend,i was totally devastated,cant imagine not having him in my life,and cant bear the thought of him being with someone else.we were so close,and ive never loved anyone the way i love him,and wont ever again.can someone please tell me how i can move forward,and to start getting on with my life.thanks
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female
reader, Tine  +, writes (1 September 2006):
 im sort of in the same boat as you, i split from my boyfriend of 4 years 8 months ago and im having a hard time coming to terms with i am alone too. But ive found that being around friends and family really helps take me mind of thinking about him all the time. If he left without explaination then he is not worth your tears. If he has another girlfriend now chances are is that he two timed you with her, and believe me if he has done it with you he will do it to her. Try going out and keeping yourself busy during the day and if you work try goin gout after work, should it only be to the cinema or the gym, at least it gets you out of the house and this way you will meet new people and have fun doing it. Concentrate on making yourself out to be the best person you can be, because although you may not want to admitt it to yourself, you are back in the single world again and if you keep thinking the way you are thinking about never finding love again then you wont. Show him exactly what he walked out on, try going and getting yourself a make over, become a completely different person physically and watch him eye you up and down when you walk past him with your head held high in the air. There are plenty of guys out there, and even though this one seems to have knocked your confidence a bit there will be one out there who will bring it right back up again, although it may not happen right away it will happen someday, and when that time comes you'll be looking back on this thinking to yourself, why did i waste my time on that idiot!!
A
female
reader, dolly peg +, writes (1 September 2006):
its always hard to move on after a relationship,but the fact that he gave you no reason,must be awful.
it took me about 18 months to get over my 1st love,but it really does get better,and its true what people say,that time is a great healer,take some time out,to rediscover yourself again,its easy for me to sit here and say,but you need to get off that emotional rollercoaster,life will get better,rememeber that!
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A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (1 September 2006):
 Well it is very hard hunny when the person you love decides that they want to leave you. It took me a year to get over my first love, but I drank a lot of alcohol went clubbing every night and had a few drunken one night stands. I was so deppressed, I would cry everyday and speak about him to any one who would listen. I kept a photo with me all the time and would read old letters daily. I was a mess and the people around me were trying to help me get on my feet but I just didn't want to know. I became obsessed with finding rebounds, only for them to use me until one day I took one good look at myself and thought I had to sort myself out. I knew I was attractive but I was letting blokes use me because I wanted the attention. I stopped looking for blokes, I threw all my ex's stuff out and spent as much time with my girl mates as I could. Then one day without looking love found me again and I barely think of my ex now. All I am saying is he has moved on. Go and get yourself a makeover have loads of girlie nights and just look to the future. One day you will find Mr Right. It is hard to beleive at the moment but it will happen. Good luck and take care
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A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (1 September 2006):
Well it is very hard hunny when the person you love decides that they want to leave you. It took me a year to get over my first love, but I drank a lot of alcohol went clubbing every night and had a few drunken one night stands. I was so deppressed, I would cry everyday and speak about him to any one who would listen. I kept a photo with me all the time and would read old letters daily. I was a mess and the people around me were trying to help me get on my feet but I just didn't want to know. I became obsessed with finding rebounds, only for them to use me until one day I took one good look at myself and thought I had to sort myself out. I knew I was attractive but I was letting blokes use me because I wanted the attention. I stopped looking for blokes, I threw all my ex's stuff out and spent as much time with my girl mates as I could. Then one day without looking love found me again and I barely think of my ex now. All I am saying is he has moved on. Go and get yourself a makeover have loads of girlie nights and just look to the future. One day you will find Mr Right. It is hard to beleive at the moment but it will happen. Good luck and take care
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