A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Me and a male friend, whom i have known for a couple of years, both have been single, both want someone special but havent been able to find someone. So, we decided to have mutual sex, and on a regular basis. This is a agreed on sex relationship, one day he gets to choose what goes on and the next my turn! We both are very happy with this, the sex is awesome, and we are both stunned how good things are. We are very open and honest with what we want and need, its good. However, I am starting to fall for him! I never thought i would, but we have been closer as friends and see each other differently, at least thats what i feel, now my question. Should i tell him i am falling for him? #2 can he continue to have sex just for sex or could he fall for me? I was wondering on both, especially advice on a mans perspective. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Princesswaiting +, writes (22 May 2008):
I really enjoy all of you who replied! What a great insight on it all. I will keep ya posted on how this continues.....Bye!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): A man getting sex already feels close to the woman, and what you have together, I'm sure he is feeling the same as you.
You both seem to be open and honest, so I'll assume you'll find a way to communicate to him your feelings.
Your situation isn't unusual. Both desperate for a partner, as friends, you both agree to help each other out. Dang, sounds like you both found the partners you were looking for.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (16 May 2008):
 Can a man have sex with a woman without developing an emotional attachment?
Not sure, but it is a noble goal and one any man would be proud to achieve! No strings sex. What a guy!
Eh, not exactly the response you were hoping for? Though, you asked for it, you got it.
He might care for you, he might not. He might still see you as nothing but a friend, he might even hate your guts. Sex does NOT make a difference. Go on how he behaves around you when you are not between the sheets.
If you are asking, "will he fall for me BECAUSE of the sex", then the answer is no. Doesn't mean he can't have fallen for you, but not because of the sex.
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A
female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (16 May 2008):
 Well, I don't have a man's perspective, but I was in your place once a long time ago.
My FWB and I talked it out. We decided that we were wrong for each other (long term) and didn't want a romantic relationship. (Yes, I was falling for him, and he for me, but since he'd been my friend for 15 years I knew him well enough to know that we'd be miserable together "for real." He knew this too.)
So we ended the "with benefits" part of the friendship, and kept just the friendship. It's been another 12 years and we're still friends. We wouldn't have been if we'd tried for a different relationship.
So I guess I'm telling you that if this guy is your friend, you should be able to talk to him. Tell him honestly: "I know this was supposed to be only a FWB relationship, but I think I'm interested in more. How do you feel about that?" You have to be ready for both answers (yes, I want more, or no, I don't).
If the answer is no, I recommend some distance so that you can get your heart back. Continuing to sleep with him is the road to continue falling for him. You can save the friendship by giving it a break. I think you know what to do if the answer is yes...
Good luck hon. Let us know how it goes.
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A
female
reader, les +, writes (16 May 2008):
I'm sorry, as a woman, you can't have sex as a man.
World history and years after years of countless psychological and biological research has shown that women naturally become emotionall attached to those they have sex with. Men dont get the same emotional attachement from sex.
You cant fight biology.
You could try to talk to him and see if he feels the same way about you, but he can have sex just to have sex and I'm sure most well will agree with me.
Seriously, dont do that to yourself. Your not man.
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