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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: hi,they is this guy that i like so much, well i think i do have a crush on we have talked and also we have gone further even having sex. he told me that he had a girlfriend i told him i dont mind. so we hit it off. these days i like get all jealous when his with her. i told him that i dont want my feelings to go overboard.what do i do?
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crush, has a girlfriend, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bubblette  +, writes (22 November 2008):
Oh My God, I am unfortunately in the same boat. A SINKING ONE AT THAT.
As I read what everyone has written, I am nodding my head and agreeing with all the COMMENTS. I am so in love with the man I am seeing that I DON'T give a crap that he sees this little girl who is by the way 13 yrs younger than he is. He does however go to her room to stay 2 nights a week with her , (she rents from her mother in a apartment and she is 34 yrs old). She doesnt drive so she can't catch us, I would love for her to find out anyway.I would want to know if it were me. In fact at one point in my life it was me and I had to face this situation.
He has been seeing her on and off for 9 yrs now, why he stays with her, well, he claims she is innocent in this situation and he doesn't want to hurt her. He swears she will never find out about us. Maybe not but someone will be hurt in the end and No doubt it will be me. I'm ready for it, I think. This isn't the first time I have been the other woman in a relationship. They all end up the same. All three of us go our separate ways. But this guy is in need and I want to provide for him. I can too in everyway. But not quite all the way cause he wont let her go. He obviously doesn't totally love her. How can he when he has been cheating on her for over 1 year now (steady) we havent had a break in our relationship in over a year. Until then I will take what I can get, Yes, I'm aware of my low self-esteem issues and how I am no angel, but tell me something oh perfect people out there, Where is the Perfect World? Tell me where it is and I will make my changes to be in it . It can be so "F'ed" up out there and I am living proof that shit happens to good people. I have so much to give and I want to give it all to him. Things will get played out in Time. Time, Time, Time it's all we have and after a year of this,I know I'm in it for the long haul. So is he. i just wish she wasn't. !!!! O.k people, bring on the nasty comments. I dont know why I am actually sharing this,I know its wrong, like the song says, IF LOVING HIM IS WRONG, I DONT WANNA BE RIGHT", no surprise to me. I wish god would make my path in life a bit more clear and not so foggy. This relationship consumes me, I want to be with him more and more EVERYDAY. I CAN SEE NOW THAT THIS RELATIONSHIP IS MY FOG... O.K PEOPLE, THAT'S IT, YOU CAN BRING IT ON NOW !!!
A
female
reader, smiler08  +, writes (21 May 2008):
not taking sides but your just as bad as him to be honest i done the same...most men are the same!!they will ave gfs and yet still have sex with other people..can you not see hes obv not a decent man if he can have sex with you and still be with his gf!!stay away from him he will only cause problems and if you stick around him your feelings will grow stronger for him and yet ull end up getting hurt not him because he will still have a gf but who will you have no-one...youll just have a broken heart
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008): Think, girl. What is wrong with your self-perspective and self respect towards yourself? You are having sex with a guy who is dating someone else. And you want him? And you are jealous of his gf? Oh my.
Hun, he's a loser... and you aren't any better or smarter for allowing this to happen. Get rid of this fellow and go find someone, you can date openly and honestly. And stop being the girl who is simply comes in "second" in his life. No fulfilling feeling of passion or love is ever possible, if a girl has no self-love. Leave this guy alone and fix yourself. Sheesh!
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A
female
reader, angelbbabe7490 +, writes (16 May 2008):
 if he has a girlfriend than i suggest you try backing off. the last thing you want to do is get involved with someone who is already involved with another woman. he may be using you for sexual pleasure. maybe this girlfriend he has does not please him the same way that you do. he may have a stronger connection or friendship with his other girlfriend. the chances are he is biting off more than he can chew. The man does not know what it is he really wants in a relationship. Let him know that he could either have his girl friend or you. if he tells you he wants you than just be aware that he may be saying this to you so that he could still have you around without you knowing he is still with the other girl. im sure the right guy is out there for you somewhere and im sure he will give you all the attention you need. its not fair that you only have half of his commitment instead of all of it. you need to find someone new. Someone who is meant for you and is yours only.
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