A
female
age
36-40,
*illybn11
writes:My bf and I have been together for a year, I don't know how to explain our relationship but our friends always say they wish they had what we had and we obviously love each other and etc...He's a sweetheart but in the past he's had problems with commitment because he has only had one previous gf but feels like we could be together and get married and such so I know he has struggled with this.But anyways my problem is with him and his text messaging. I trust him 100 percent and I know he has never done anything physical with another girl, but I was looking through his phone the other day, which I never do but I did and I found some text messages between him and a girl. They were pretty scandalous, like him saying I kinda like you and i wish i kissed you earlier, that night I know he was drunk because he called me at 2 in the morning for a ride because he was at his friend's place. I just feel like in a way he cheated on me, and it hurts because he's acting like normal and if I didn't look at his phone I never would have known. Yesterday I asked him if he ever has text messaged something when he was drunk that he wouldn't when he was sober and he said yeah definitely. Now any other time I would bring this up to him and ask him but tomorrow he is moving home for the summer which is 12 hours away. We're still going to be together and see each other but I just don't want to bring this up right before he leaves but I'm hurt over it.And I know if he really was doing something with this girl and if there potentially anything there he would end things with me, that's just how he is. Another thing, we've had a rough relationship, we started dating last june and in august my little brother died which was yeah really really hard on me and it's been stressful on our relationship since it happened, it's better now but there was a couple times we had to take a break because it was too much with me losing my brother and he was failing out of school also. But during these breaks of ours I know for a fact that he never did anything with another girl, his roommate confirmed and said that he would never do anything with another girl because he would be worried what I thought.I'm thinking (hoping) that this was just him being drunk and seeing how far he could go with the flirting and he probably looked at his phone the next morning and was oh man what did I do...Another thing, I know we're going to get married one day, so do I let him get away with heavy flirting now or do tighten the leash now and risk him cheating on me later in our relationship? Ugh I just don't want to believe he really has anything going on with this girl because then he's somewhat of a fraud I think and I 100 percent did not think that's who he is..Thanks for listening and sorry it's so long!
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