A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Things were progressing so well with this new guy. We met online. Emailed back and forth for a while, talked on the phone and have been on four dates. Our dates have been great and he called me several days in advance to plan the first three and he has been such a gentleman. He picks me up, holds my hand when we walk down the street, opens doors for me and told me I was beautiful. Our last date I planned because I got tickets to a basketball game and he loves basketball. We went to the game and then out for drinks. We have not yet been intimite except for some steamy makeout sessions. So here's the thing, I thought everything was going great and we really liked each other but our last date was a week ago and since then he has been texting me but has not called to plan another date. He has texted me 3 nights this week to see how I've been and to say "hi" but I'm wondering if he will ever call and ask me out again. At the end of his last text message two days ago he said he would talk to me soon. Do you think he really will or has he started losing interest?
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female
reader, bootyboot +, writes (9 March 2009):
can i respond to another post here. ok, i think it is nonsense that if you sleep iwth a guy on the first date, he never calls back.
yes it does happen, but i slept with my latest and greatest on the first date and we've been dating for months now, no trouble. so it depends on the guy and if he is into games or not.
as for 4 date guy.,maybe you should make the next move. he asked you out the last two times? well, maybe he thinks it's your turn. don't make him do all the work. also, maybe he was expecting something after the third date and since he held out past date 3 for sex, maybe he thinks you're a tease or are taking too long and he's losing interest. now i'm not saying you better sleep with him, but i know some guys think this way. you do what you are comfortable with. i recommend wait til date 5, or maybe after a month of dating depending on how many times you see each other.
anyway, the point is, if you ask him out, or if he disappears and you don't hear from him...then sadly 'he's just not that into you!'
men are such beasts!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): Well, who knows whether he plans to ask you out again? Its anybody's guess, quite frankly.
He most likely did enjoy the dates you and he have had so far. However, its very early days yet and he may welll be keeping in touch by texting you, but at the same time, taking the opportunity to sit back and assess his feelings about your friendship, and how he thinks its going, and where he wants it to go, if anywhere. That's perfectly natural, and maybe you should be doing a bit of evaluating yourself. What I'm saying here is a POSSIBILTY as to what's going on, not a certainty!
One thing: you said you haven't been intimate yet, but have had some steamy makeout sessions. If you do see him again, it would be a good idea to cool it a bit, play hard to get, you know? Men definitely are put off by a woman who is too eager to hop into bed with them - I'm not saying you are - but "they" often do tend to withdraw once they've had sex with "you". Why? Because it was too easy for them. One caveat to this: IF "he" finds "you" have qualities that are a real turn-on - great sense of humor, for instance, or clever, real smart and brainy, "he" MIGHT be more inclined to stay around longer, even if sex happened too soon. (I'm talking generalities, here.)
But back to your specific situation: look, he appears to have taken a step back, for whatever reason. Therefore, you should, too. Reply to any text he sends, but don't initiate one. Let HIM be the one sending YOU texts. For now. You say he texted you two days ago. I'd say give it another week, and THEN you might text him and see if he'd like to meet you for lunch, say. See how he responds.
Its also possible that he has withdrawn a bit for NO OTHER REASON THAN THAT HE's BUSY. Give it a little time and see what happens. Sounds like you are handling it well so far. Just don't let him think you're too anxious or over-eager. It'll work itself out, one way or another.
Let us know!
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A
female
reader, triedit  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Your best bet is to just ask him. Tell him his behavior is confusing and you just are trying to figure out if he still likes being out with you. And don't do it via text. That is SO impersonal.
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