A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a married man for two years. He always told me he was preparing to divorce his wife but he wanted to make sure his kids would be okay (ages 10, 14, and 18). He finally got a divorce about two months ago. He stayed at his house for about a month but because of her religion she told him he had to move out. He came to live with me and as always said this is what he wanted. About a month after living with me he told me he wanted to go back to what he was used to. He told me his heart was with his family. After going through all that. He told her the truth about the affair with me and has moved his things into the basement of their house. What happened?
View related questions:
affair, divorce, married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): As others say extra marital affairs never end well, you were always going to be 2nd best to his wife and family and after he thought the grass may be greener on the other side he made his own choices for what ever suited him in the long run.He has went back to his wife and even came clean about it, that is his way of moving on with his marriage, he has made his final decision and there is very little you can do, apart form being bitter of course.He has made his choice you have to accept his choice and hope you never get involed in someone else's marital situation,men look for the easy way out sometimes and with having you to go to and the bonus of sex till he sorted out his life,unfortunatly you have been a stop gap until he made his choices.
A
female
reader, shaashiie +, writes (9 March 2009):
 All I can say is if he wanted to make sure his children were going to be ok he shouldn't have started an extra-marital affair. Would you want that man to do that to YOUR own kids? Imagine how this is going to mess up their idea of a family, a father, and commitment.
He was married for a long time and has 3 kids with this woman. Whatever was going on should have been worked out between them before he moved on to another woman, and maybe he realized that now. Maybe he realized how much his home and his family really meant to him.
Find someone who will give you what you deserve in a relationship and who isn't going to be going home to someone else at night. Affairs usually do not end well for either party, unfortunately you learned this the hard way.
I really doubt this was anything you did, this relationship was set up for disaster from the get go.
...............................
A
female
reader, triedit  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Where did it go wrong? When you started dating a married man. Why would you think a man who can't decide between two women in the first place would feel differently when you are the primary and not the mistress?
Tell him good riddance and find someone who can care about and respect you. And care enough and respect yourself to not put yourself in that position ever again.
...............................
A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Sometimes we realy dont realise what we have until we dont have it again, im really sorry that things havent worked out for you but it seems like this is a case of the grass looking greener over the other side - he jumped over the fence and realised that now he wasnt standing on the other patch of grass anymore, it was growing without him and it now looked greener.
I dont think you've done anything wrong, i think he obviously has a lot of history with his wife/ex and children, 18+ years, and sometimes, walking away from that is so hard and sometims people cant adjust like they think they can and flee when the time comes to live the fantasty.
Its like moving to a new house, if you give it enough time you can eventually make it a home, but f you dont wait, you might want to go back "home" and forget the new place - it doesnt mean you dont want to move, it just means that you're not as ready as you think you are to let everything else go.
...............................
|
