A
female
age
30-35,
*issAnnonimus
writes:I dont know what to do with my best friend.I known her 4 10 years,and we ve been best friends ever since.We were also roommates first year of faculty,and that was one of the best years ever.But since we dont live together she ve changed so much.We used to share everything,do everything 4 each other,like sisters...with her i had some bond that i didnt have with other people.And now,i can never count on her.Once i needed to borrow laptop 4 the exam,cause mine got broken,and she said how she ll see if she can borrow me,but then she didnt answer my messages or my calls all day.I gave her mother some jeans to sell 4 me,and she had returned not-sold ones with 2 missing pairs.I just feel like she s competing with me all the time,i can see jealousy in her eyes,and i dont want that from my best gf.Whatever i buy from clothes she has to buy exactly the same!When i had problems in relationship,she would call me on phone and start telling me how nice she has it in hers(which was btw terrible and ended like that).Once i agreed to wait 4 her when she returns from trip,so that we can go 4 a coffee and a chat.I went so far to meet with her,so that when she arrived she kissed me and said ow i have to rush my bf is waiting for me,cause there s nothing nicer when u go and cuddle up next to ur guy after a long day.(btw i have distance relationship)So she kissed me and went with a friend that picked her up with car,and i went back home on foot.Or this summer after club we were all supposed to go with her gfs car back home,but her gf turned to me and asked me if i she should call me a cab.She just entered the car,and didnt care that i had to go with cab.I dont know what i did to deserve that...I am in a really good relationship for 4 years,and she never had good one but i always brought her with my boyfriend and me,i never brag about it. I modeled in a music video last year,and had some tv appearances and my best gf never gave me any compliments or congratulated me.She never even talked about it.I never lied to her like she does lately or dumped her.I had milion bad situations with her this last year,i wouldnt be able to write them all here.And then i ask myself how much longer can u take that?Its just so hard after being friends with somebody for so long to cut it.I tried talking to her,but she said how she was behaving like that cause she was unhappy in her last relationship,and i decided to forgive her.She started behaving better but now it has started again :(I really dont know wnat to do!any advice?
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best friend, jealous, roommate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2013): YW..Hello again.
i really do think you need to talk to her.
A lot of times people could be very prideful.
I am guilty of my sin. Pride.
I lost people i care about because of my so called pride.
But my friend at work that i told you about.
She taught me the value of friendship, how to let go of my pride, sometimes. That it doesn't mean that if I initiate saying sorry first, it would me make less worthy as a person.
She doesn't even have a clue all about this,
she taught me all this things in a silent manner.
If your friend is prideful like myself. Teach her how not to be by setting a good example to her.
Good luck..
A
female
reader, MissAnnonimus +, writes (30 June 2013):
MissAnnonimus is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all for your reply!I have another best friend,childhood also :) And with that one i never had any problem or was ever disappointed!We always pushed each other,were happy for each other,NEVER EVER jealous...she s currently studding abroad,but we re still talking all the time and all!And together all 3 of us were best friends!But with this particular girl,with who i have problem,i feel more connected to :(We r have same sizes,wear same things,like same things,eat same things...have same goals,have same jokes,understand each other just by looking without even talking,just being quiet and looking at ceiling :) have telepathy like with no one!but then lately,she s being jealous,competing with me,dumping me...and its not like we re growing apart!She does something to me,i get annoyed,dont talk with her 4 a while and then when we see each other or talk its like we were talking every single day :(I guess i ll have to confront her again and tell her all...but i just feel like she will say that she ll change that and that it will be same again!And that i will look like an idiot for allowing that!But its just so difficult to cut it!
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (29 June 2013):
 From experience; this is where you learn that you and your childhood friends grow up and find their own way in life. It is perfectly natural for us to change and develop into the people we will become. Some of us are not interested in keeping childhood friendship sentiment and treat us differently. While others loving hold onto that history and treat us as family. Like you I experienced these changes with a particular girlfriend of mine; we grew apart as we had different ideals, study, goals and careers to pursue. We became individuals, the people we are today! That I believe is happening with you and her. Here you will eventually part ways and or have a distant friendship where you’ll be the one to keep in touch.Many years later you may even come across each other and find common ground again; when you both have children or similar hardship experiences to share. But in the meanwhile she is acting less of a friend each time from what you used to know. Another point is; sometimes the people we grew up with are not necessarily the people we end up liking because of what they’ve become!? Take Care – Tetka A
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A
female
reader, misLadYd..  +, writes (29 June 2013):
 thats not a true friend really. A true friend wouldnt treat you that way or even be jealous of you. Cut your losses and find someone else to befriend.. Someone who will appreciate your friendship more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2013): You know what I could totally relate to your dilemma.I have a friend at work whom I consider as the closest friend to me.Sometimes, I cant help but wonder how I ever got that close to her when we are the exact opposite of each other,She's loud, I am not. I'm prim and proper she's Not.There are times that felt we have a competition when it comes to work performance, she's the type of person who will boast about her achievements. While I'm not.I'ld rather keep quiet about my work performance.But I'm honest. What bothers me i tell her straight, up front. I don't care if it hurts her feelings.So sometimes we really don't speak to each other but at the end of the day, we also realized that were friends. Good or bad days, were still friends.What your going through is just a phase where time is just testing your friendship.If you guys meant to be friends forever, even if you steal bf's w/each other, you will still remain friends and drop the boy instead.I'm not saying that's the problem. Its just a sample.Hopefully things will go well, you need to talk to her about the situation, it may be awkward afterwards. Could break or make the friendship stronger. But you gotta do what you have to do. why? it bothers you.You love your friend despite her bad attitude. Keep that love. good luck...
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A
female
reader, helpathand6  +, writes (29 June 2013):
I think it would be best to keep her as a friend but a friend at arms length don't get yourself into a situation were you need to rely on her for anything. Maybe don't tell her your problems either as it sounds like she is feeding off them it could be that she is just jealous or is having problems in her life and doesn't even realise that she is doing this. Talk to her one more time but I advice you keep a little distance for a short while until it changes and if it doesn't change I would try and find yourself a new best friend. I know its a sad situation but it will save your feelings.
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