A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi!! I have a question about my birthday and my boyfriend. This is going to be my fourth birthday in the relation, and out of the other 3 birthdays, my boyfriend has spent 1 of those birthdays with me. We actually attend to the same university and the birthday he spent with me was a day where we both had classes, the other two were weekends Do you think it would be okay if I plan to spend this birthday with my friends?? I'm asking this because I don't want to hurt him or making him feel excluded I'll be turning 21 and he is 23
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A +, writes (29 June 2013):
I would think turning 21 is something special, unless culturally it’s not considered so important in Brazil? If it’s just another birthday on the calendar then I’d do as I please…
However Birthdays for me are about how special that person is to me… and how special I am to them!? If you consider this, then I’d invite your boyfriend and give him the opportunity to reschedule any classes he may have to make in order to be there. Anything less would hurt and make him feel excluded!?
If previously celebrating birthdays have been hit and miss in the past, then why not let this one be the start to something special in how you like to be acknowledged…
21 Feliz aniversário! – CAA
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2013): Well, I think you are old enough not to have to ask his permission for anything. So just tell him you would like to spend your birthday with your friends this time.
If it hasn't mattered much before; why should he feel hurt by it this time? Unless you are trying to get a rise out of him by excluding him.
It's your day to do whatever you please. You don't need anyone else to plan it for you.
Just don't wait until the last minute. That will allow him to change any plans he may have already made for you.
Your delivery of the news, and the true intentions behind it makes all the difference.
Have a wonderful birthday!
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