A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have always known that my partner has had many partners and has much much more experience than me.He lost his virginity at 11 and has had several partners and has slept with teachers and professors.it is starting to get to me because everyone that I meet or when we go to a club I found that he slept with that one and this one and he classifies himself as being a whore in his days..I wouldnt be surprised if he has had sex with 50 guys and girls and its getting to me because I now feel as though everyone has had him and that he is known as being a loose goose!!What can I do to get this out my head? I have only had one serious physical relationship and he is a bit older but the partner count and new names come up and it is getting to me!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Well... you could always just assume that he's sad sex with EVERYONE you meet... but I'm sure that doesn't help your issues.
My advise is get over your jealousy issues, cause there's nothing you can do about who he has ALREADY had sex with - remember he is WITH YOU now. He's with YOU... for a reason.
You didn't mention how long you've been together but if it's more than 6-9 months... you're doing really well. If you're living together or have discussed moving in together soon... you're doing even better.
Additionally, you should also talk to him about it... let him know that it makes you uncomfortable to find out that he's been with someone (sexually - or emotionally). Tell him you don't expect him to NOT introduce you to everyone... just try to avoid people he's done it with - or at least let you know ahead of time. Finding out from someone other than him is not a good sign as it means he's trying to keep that information from you. He might be doing this to protect you... but it's backfiring.
Just some things to think about.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): If your boyfriend isn't that person anymore.. Either accept his past and move on, knowing that isn't him anymore..
Or leave. It is a bit embarrassing to be with somebody with a reputation like that.. But again, if there not that person anymore, then just move on and don't be insecure & jealous.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): Its jealousy. Have you not thought about dealing with your insecurity instead because it may well be with you no matter who you are with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): There must be a virgin for you somewhere? Out of respect for your future boyfriend,"Do Not" bump into your ex. This would be terrible for him. If we`d all followed the bible and kept our pants on,then we wouldnt have to suffer this. Do you ever walk past your ex whilst with your bf?
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A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (15 November 2010):
 noone can change their past it is unfair to even expect it. what are you going to do shout at him for having a good time? for finding out what he liked? there is nothing wrong with it.
but protection (condoms) or if you want to be unprotected and use the jab or whatever make sure he has been checked out and that is for your safety.
what is important is that he is with you now, experiance means very little in relationships guys often find it very attractive if their gf is less experianced because it appeals to the male ego, 'a male whore'
again this is a guy thing, an ego thing.
if i was you just brush the other people off what do you care? seriously yes they had him that one time you have him now revel in the fact he is so experianced , love that you have his focus. it does not matter what other people think , if you let it you will always have some insecurity.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): Is this the type of person you want to be with? You can do a lot better than this. I've been in your situation and believe me it does get worse. It's annoying and shameful. Stop it right now and move on. If you didn't live a lifestyle like this, there is no reason why you have to cope with all this. He's not your type. There is no reason to stay with him. There are plenty of fishes in the sea, why do you want to eat the one who is not suitable?
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A
female
reader, Annie10103 +, writes (15 November 2010):
That sounds bad! Don't let it get to you though! He has most probably changed since being younger and more vulnerable! As long as he isn't doing it now you will know he truly loves you. If you feel a bit uncomfortable tell him how you feel and you guys can work it out together!
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