A
female
age
30-35,
*jazzie
writes:What is wrong with me? Or is it this stupid town?It seems like everyone has a partner. Even our cat has a boyfriend next door (granted she's a cat). All my friends are with someone, not just sex buddies, but like someone special. And don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking 'Oh everyone's with someone I must be'. It just would be nice to try the whole relationship thing already. I'm 18 and I haven't felt the need to date during high school really, but now I would like if I met someone. But there really is no potentials in my life; I do art at uni and there really is no one there, I am also a casual checkout chick and there's no one at work. I'm busy with these two things so really that's it. My friends have told me I should go out more, so I tried that but the guys one meets going out drinking, at clubs or whatever are drunk and really aren't interested in relationships, usually they're just after one thing. They don't seem to care about what happens the next day. I'm yet to meet any that are. They aren't thinking, 'dang that girl and I should go to the movies together and rummage through CD shops'. Plus as I've said it's fun every now and then to go out on a saturday night but I feel bad if I let any uni work slip not to mention how much club/bar drinks cost and then the taxi home for a poor uni student.Apparently I'm smart and nice. I don't think it's that painful to look at me. I mean I've seen really out of touch girls with boyfriends. I'm half Indian (mum's Hindu) dad and I are absolute Aussies. I'm not overweight. I think I have a lot to offer. So what's wrong? I NEVER meet anyone. There are NEVER any potentials. We live in a town (that calls itself a city) in Queensland (Australia). I keep thinking life will be a lot more interesting (I'll go for a second degree. I'll meet someone nice, I'll make TRUE friends) when we move to Melbourne in another 2 years after my degree. But who am I kidding? I'm scared that I'll only be lonier in a bigger city. The more people the more invisible you become. What's wrong with me? Why is this so hard? I mean my friends have tried to introduce me to people but it's not like I ever hear from them again.
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at work, drunk, has a boyfriend, overweight Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2018): Well unfortunately most women have such a very big list of demands when it comes to us good single men unfortunately since they want men with a full head of hair and no baldness at all, be very good looking, be in very excellent shape and not overweight at all, have a very great career making a lot of money, have his very own home, and drive a real expensive fancy car as well. That is quite a list these women have there for many of us men since as i can see that most single women themselves are very extremely when it comes to us men. And the great majority of women as it is are very obese and not all that attractive as they really think they're since they will usually insult many of us men as well when we will just try to start a normal conversation with them. So finding love is very impossible for many of us good innocent men really looking for a very serious relationship today as you can see. And with so many women that have a career today themselves making a lot of money which they will usually only go with men that have money as well which unfortunately most of these type of women to begin with are just golddiggers anyway. And God forbid for many of us men trying to start a normal conversation like i mentioned earlier since there are quite a few times that we will get Cursed at for no reason at all which has happened to me and other friends that i know that are single too. Most women today unfortunately just don't have good manners and no respect for us men since the times have really changed from the past when most of the women back then were real ladies and very old fashioned which made real true love very easy to find in those days. Unfortunately the times have changed today and so have the women. Since most women are so very picky now which they just need to get a cat for a pet and just grow very old all alone with it by themselves.
A
male
reader, Dustin587  +, writes (30 September 2007):
 Don't worry, you are not alone in this situation. I am 20 and going through the same thing. Heck, I posted something a few days ago quite similar to yours. Most people tell me to just be myself and to go meet people. I would also recommend you google "where to meet singles." I can assure you you will find some tips within the first few hits. Most are the usual things like go to a coffee shop, go take a class at a college, etc., but it'll give you some ideas. However, several users have told me to simply not go looking for relationships - I guess you will have to be the judge of that. I am sure some of the other posters can be much more helpful than I can, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone :).
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A
female
reader, nicolem  +, writes (30 September 2007):
I don't know if this will help, but I am in the same situation as you. I also don't like to go out too much because of uni and the cost of going out. I think (hope) that there are actually a lot more single girls out there than you think- you aren't actually the only one without a partner, it just looks like it. I've started to realize that I've been single so long, I sort of starting assuming that guys weren't interested in me, which meant I missed a few chances. Maybe you've started doing the same thing? (I don't know). I agree with L.O.S.E.R.- you don't have to go out to clubs and drink to meet guys. If you try to meet them another way, you're more likely to meet someone who is actually interested in a relationship. Other than that, I don't have much advice, except: do not just "settle" for a loser who is not interested in either you or a serious relationship. You will end up even more unhappy, and you might miss your chance at a real relationship.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (30 September 2007):
 I sense a lot of fear in you. Are you afraid that if you do get a boyfriend what's going to happen or how it turns out. If so you may have had good opportunities but not knowing it turned them down. We do that with fear we back up from opportunity because we don't know the outcome of it.
STOP trying so hard. You're as I am, an analyst. We look at everything as having to have an actual understandable answer to why things happen when some things don't need an answer. Tell your friends to stop helping. Whatever their doing is not working, so you don't want to continue repeating what doesn't work.
An example of trying too hard would be my ex wife. She wanted a baby, that's all she would talk about, it became sort of an obsession of hers. We tried for 3 years to have one, then once she decided maybe we should wait to have a child, she got pregnant.
It's not you, it's just you haven't found what you're looking for yet. What I have found is strong people are attracted to strong people. Build yourself, your integrity, and your character, and those who like you for being you will seek you out.
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A
female
reader, L.O.S.E.R.  +, writes (30 September 2007):
 Oh hun...you made me laugh cause I have the kind of a situation myself.Not to mention that my dog has more friends than I do lol.It is frustrating.If everything is ok with your confidence try doing something new,like going to the gym,some kind of classes or similar,you know what I mean-places where you'll be alone surrounded with lots of people who also came there on their own.That way you'll spontaniously start to chat with some of them and you might develope a friendship or more.It's thrue you should go out more but it doesn't have to be clubbing (same here-lots of drunk retards and money needed for drinks and way home)-when I had self esteem I used to meet people in stores,waiting rooms,bus stops or anywhere else I go.Think it's cause then I was comunicative and friendly,smiled etc,so to them it seemed kinda normal to start talking to me (if you look like you'll gonna reject a person he/she won't bother).Don't think of yourself as a lonely person cause you'll get things worse,make a positive additude on your situation.Well hope I helped you at least a bit-wish I could do more but I really dunno how...I'll definitely come back on this page l8r to check out did others gave you any reply I could use too haha.Good luck.
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