A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 31 and dating a 56 year old male. He tends to have strong ejaculations to the point that he goes too deep and hard inside of me. Ive told him this is painful. The sex is great up until he ejaculates. I've asked him to pull out, but for some reason he cannot and perfers to cum inside of me but It's very long in time, he produces too much sperm and that it's too rough. I'm in pain the next day because of it and try to explain why I don't want sex the next day. Is there anything that can slow him down when he ejaculates so it's not so violent?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): he Knows you'll believe anything he says so he just goes ahead and lies. End of. Sex is best where you have a connection and want to please each other. He clearly ENJOYS hurting you! Is that what you want!!!!???
A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (17 November 2010):
When I first read this I was thinking like the rest on here. Women mainly say they can't feel it. You're not talking about cum here, but his performance when he climaxing. When your guy comes he pushes in very strong and hard. Pretty much trying to hit the bottom and maybe leaving it there until he finishes, this is the part that is bring you discomfort.
Guys as it been said long ago. Guys need to be train and sometimes you have to send a message as well. Always punish for the deed that was done. He pushy to far into it than ban him from it for a couple of days. We all lose control for a second but your guy love to push it very far as he cum.
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A
male
reader, ivanichiaynus  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Every so often DC comes up trumps and these answers are right on the money!
Firstly, many women can't even feel their man cum inside them, so you have a problem, as the anan answerer suggests. You say it only hurts when he cums, so it can't be that he is too long and hitting your cervix.
But no way should it hurt and he CAN pull out and must, if he is hurting you.
No point in my repeating all the other excellent advice on here, but please reconsider your relationship if things don't improve, because I fear for your long-term safety.
And please get a medical examination ASAP.
Ivan.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Make him wear a condom, get on top toward the end, and get a taser in case he pulls this again. Hurting you "because he can't help it when he is coming" isn't an excuse. I'll bet if he were "tased" once when transgressing and hurting you, he wouldn't do it again.
Honestly. If it were him instead of you, would he finally listen? It's a poor excuse and really, it's abusive.
It's also TOTALLY counterproductive - Don't you WANT your partner to enjoy sex? Wouldn't you want to please your partner just to have MORE sex?
The fact that he doesn't listen to you or care about your FEELINGS is more worrisome to me than the other issues.
Check out this link just in case there are other indicators of an abusive personality:
http://www.familyshelterservice.org/what-is-abuse/assess-your-situation/
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): this is the very first time i hear about sperm hurting someone. when's the last time u had a papsmear? last i heard, this kind of pain is not good. get checked. oh, by the way, please consider stopping it altogether. sex is best when done within the context of marriage...just saying.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): My last post was very venomous, please don't take offence by it. But every point I made is valid.
I'm a guy I know how we work, and we can easily adjust ourselves sexually to stop hurting our partners. Cumming inside is a great feeling but not if it hurts our partner.
It means only one thing OP and I'm serious, he doesn't give a crap about you, or the fact he's hurting you.
Pulling out is no big deal for us, in fact cumming all over a woman is great fun. You just happen to be with a guy that gets off on your pain and guys like that don't just stop when it comes to sex.
You might think I'm blowing this out of proportion but there's a very fine line between what he's doing and rape. Yes you might be a consenting adult but if you tell him stop during the act itself and he doesn't then that's sexual assault. If you tell him point blank not to do that anymore and he does, then that too is very serious indeed.
Be very careful OP, he's already shown a blatant disregard for your feelings, he's already shown you he'll just go ahead and take what he wants from you sexually regardless if it hurts you or not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): "but for some reason he cannot" what the hell is that supposed to mean? Of course he can!
Tell him if he doesn't get sex unless he pulls out. What kind of asshole are you dating that thinks it's okay to hurt you during sex and then refuse to stop hurting you?
Would you let him punch you in face "because he prefers it"?
Tell him to stop doing it, don't take no for an answer.
No there's absolutely nothing he can do to control his ejaculation and he doesn't want to, he likes that it hurts you, let me repeat this guy likes hurting you, it's hot. Otherwise he'd stop.
He likes the fact that his ejaculation is painful for you, he gets off on hurting you during sex and he's treating you like his little dog by refusing to stop. He's 56 and is old enough to know exactly what he's doing, he doesn't give a crap what you think, anytime he's having sex with you he's going to come inside you, hurting you and you're just going to have to shut up and take it because he doesn't care. And why should he? You're letting him treat you that way.
You have two options either you make him stop doing that, or you shut up and take the pain.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (17 November 2010):
 You might also think about you being on top when you know he's heading toward the finish line. That way you can have more control over how deep he is and how long he stays in.
And yes, if he knows that it is causing you pain and he continues to do it, you might really want to think about ditching this guy. Good luck, sweet!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Have you thought about having him wear a condom? It's not only much safer, but it'll solve a lot of problems for you! And, he can very well pull out, he just doesn't want to.
You shouldn't have to be in pain to have sex. If he won't come to a compromise with you, you shouldn't be with him.
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