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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im 14 my parents are in a fight how do i help get them back together? My dad has a a does not think before he says and regrets it. My mom and dad have been together for 17 years now i i cant live without my mom and dad being together it just breaks my heart to see them alone. i have 3 syblings ages 11, 9, and 6 and they dont want to see that either. so if anyone can help i will greatly appreciate it. Reply to this Question
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reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 December 2009):
There isn't a thing you can do. All you can do is make sure you know they love you, and make sure they you know you care about them. But your parents lead their own lives, and they have to make their own decisions, no matter what happens. If they argue, then they argue and it's their problem that they need to sort out themselves. I would suggest you and your siblings talk to your parents and tell them you're unhappy, but there is no way you can make them get back together if they don;t want to.
A
female
reader, Silence and Sorrow +, writes (31 December 2009):
 I know this doesn't help, but my parents were at the same point when I was a bit older than you. They had been together for 18 years before it got too bad. When/if they get to the point where they don't speak to each other and use any of you to hurt the other then it might be a good idea to get the younger ones to visit a grandparent or something.... My mum and dad used me to hurt each other and fight, then they would vent at me about the other all because I am the oldest.(I am not saying this will happen to you though.) I'm not saying it's impossible for your parents to work through this either, but if it takes a turn for the worst, make your little siblings your first priority. They'll need you as much as any parent when/if things go sour. If all else fails, you can try what I did and tell both parents that they're acting like idiots and to think before they start shit that affects everybody in the fucking family... I would not blame you if you used different words or just didn't say it, but I told my dad that while he was in the middle of yelling at me about mum.... No matter what, protect your siblings. Don't let the fighting with your parents hurt them. I wish you the best of luck.
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reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (31 December 2009):
 GET OVER IT your parents are not getting along it happens, when you get married have kids and the bills start piling your older no longer the hot couple you where in college.
Theres nothing you can do your parents dont want to be togather any more. theres no since in them being togather all unhappy and disgruntle till some one gets hurt.
YOu gotta be strong and hang in there.
look at it this way you can have two Christmases and two birthdays and two of everything.
HEy ill tell you what go to your parents with tears in your eyes and try to convince them to rekindle the old flame, dont forget to use that cute little puppy dog face.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): A sad as it is when two parents are fighting, they are the only ones who have any hope in being able to work through the pain that each of them is facing. You and your siblings need to understand that none of you caused this, you can't control or cure it.
With any luck your parents are not to the point that they are past their ability to undertake the hard work to save their relationship- this can happen, and you need to understand that. If they are both willing to put in the hard work (and it can be very hard and painful, and scary for them) then possibly, with some strong outside help they can face their pain and work towards reconciling their differences.
If they can not, it will be important for the children to not take sides and stay neutral, as there are usually three sides to every story... his, hers and the reality...
At your age I was constantly worried about my parents fighting- they were able to resolve their issues and had a long happy marriage. good luck to you and your siblings- I'm always sorry to hear that a kid is having to go through this, but know that life will get better!
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