A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am utterly desperate for a dog. I am a huge dog lover and have been raised with loads of animals. I have been with my partner for 4 years and he has refused to let me ever get a dog. How on earth can i make him see this is unreasonable and is making me unhappy?We have always lived in a small flat and the answer was always "maybe" but my partner doesn't really like dogs. i always hoped when the time was right he'd change his mind. We recently moved 30 miles away to a bigger house that allows pets. I asked for a dog. i was told no way.I love dogs more than anything. they make me so happy and i feel sad when i see people who are not really bothered about dogs getting one. now my neighbour has one and admits "she's really a cat person". I have asked and asked for two years and now there is no excuse left and my partner admits that we will never have a dog. This is totally unacceptable to me. i don't stop my partner partaking in his hobbies, but he has vetoed a dog. i have threatened to buy one, and he told me that he would take it back and if i got another he would leave!tonight, i have been crying as another friend has got a dog and my partner told me i would never have one and to forget it. None of my friends or family can understand why he refuses to let me have one. He has never had any pets, knows nothing about them, and is not interested. His parents are anti-pets and cant understand why i want them.I feel so upset being a huge dog lover and then not even having one myself. by this age i imagined having 2 or 3 dogs, not being banned from them! Our relationship is good in every other aspect except this. To my partner it is a matter of principle. He says he loves me, but i don't understand why he can refuse something that means so much to me, and let me sit there crying and then say "forget ever getting one!" he has told me he will "try a dog out" for a week to see how he feels, but i cant get a dog for a week! When i tell him this, he says well you'll never have one. Even if i did somehow find a dog for a week, hed probably turn around and then say no!He will not look at any dogs with me, i go to dog shows on my own, without a dog, i go out for walks without a dog, and when i'm on my own at night i'd feel safer with a dog. I don't know what to do anymore. A dog seems just a normal thing, i don't ask for much from my partner, i just want a dog, and he keeps saying no way, for silly reasons like ' they smell!"We keep rowing about this and i told him i will never give up, and he says he will never allow one! What can i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): I am an animal lover as well and I know exactly how you feel - I would be crushed if my boyfriend wouldn't let me have a dog. I think you should dump him. Really, this isn't about a dog, it's about other issues he has that you probably don't know about yet. If this is important to you and he doesn't even care, then what else is he not going to care about? What else is he not going to even talk about or consider without saying no? He's supposed to be the one to support you in things that make you happy-within reason of course, but I don't think this is unreasonable at all. See if you can 'borrow' your friend's dog for a week and see how things go. But really, if he's this closed minded about an issue this small, what is going to happen when bigger issues come up?!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): This is not about a dog, it's about control. Get the dog and tell him he can choose- he can stay or he can go. If he even thinks about hurting the dog, kick his ass to the curb and change the locks- anyone who can hurt an animal will seriously hurt a human.Small dogs (we have miniature poodles) are great, and I'll always have 2 as they become each others best freinds. get the dogs- forget the "week" trial... he's on trial...
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A
female
reader, anonymas +, writes (31 December 2009):
dnt u like another smaller animal like a pet fish or somthing, or try convince him for a smaller dog
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (31 December 2009):
Either he's afraid of dogs, or really doesn't like them. So it comes down to a choice you have. You can stay with him and accept that he will not accept a dog and would rather leave you, or you can move out and get a dog. One of you will lose here. Maybe though, this is a sign that he's not the guy for you. Being a man I can tell you he won't change his mind over something he feels so strongly about, so make your choice. Your boyfriend or a dog.
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A
female
reader, Good Girl  +, writes (31 December 2009):
 Get a dog! My ex did that to me. He also didn't want me to finish college. I got a dog. I'm still in school. He's gone and I'm so glad! I love my dog. His name is Ezra. I named him after my favorite poet and he and I are so happy! If your boyfriend can't let you have a dog he's such a jerk. It's not like you're asking him to walk around on all fours and bark at strangers.It's your life and if he's not letting you do this chances are he's trying to manipulate you in other ways too. Be yourself. Live your life. Adopting Ezra was among the best decisions I have ever made. I waited and waited and now we've got each other and I don't even miss that guy. Him being so petty was a sign that led me to reexamine our relationship. You get a dog no matter what this guy says. Then you will see very clearly how important you are to him as a person. Good luck! I hope you enjoy your long walks in the park!Just get your dog!
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A
female
reader, JaneMarie +, writes (31 December 2009):
My parents were in a similar situation, however by no means exactly like yours. My mom really wanted a pug and begged my dad. He actually said he'd divorce her if she got one. But, she kept at it and he eventually realized how much it meant to her and now he loves the dog. However, my dad had always loved other pets, rabbits, guinea pigs,etc. What other pets do you have? Does your man dislike those as well? What about going to a pet store and handling "other animals". Does he like sports or to be active? Does are a great motivation or exercise. I would having a dog, but I live in an apartment where they aren't allowed and my husband and I really couldn't afford one. Does your man feel like he would be left taking care of the dog? You really want a dog, but is there a compromise animal? What about volunteering or a job that involves dogs? However, your problem is you want that dog and dogs can be a lot of work when they are in a new environment. I would try making your man socialize with other animals, however only you know your guy and the way to manipulate him or change his mind...
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