A
male
age
36-40,
*icardocampa
writes:My girlfriend recently tried to create non existent penis insecurities in me, though jokingly ... she also openly discusses other hot guys with her friends right in front of me and sees his pictures on facebook in front of me. But she has always wanted to marry me.I kind of used to like her before, but now I just want to pump her till the fun lasts and eventually just dump her.I also want to explain my intentions to her in no uncertain terms.Do you think I am justified?
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female
reader, visione +, writes (2 February 2010):
 Oh by the way, I'm not defending your gf's actions by any means, I think what she did is insensitive - but your reaction to this isn't the best way to deal with the problem either, which is what I'm trying to show.
She might not realize how much it bothers you that she is doing this, but she's not going to find out any time soon unless you actually bring it up.
Good luck. :)
A
female
reader, visione +, writes (2 February 2010):
"But I will eventually recall them when I need to make any serious judgement on the future course of this relationship."
Really? For something like this? I find both parties a bit silly. You should tell her how you feel when she talks about "hot guys" in front of you - like you told us. Tell her you find it disrespectful and you aren't going to put up with it. How she responds to it will give you some insight on her behavior / why she felt the need to do it. You sound like you are going to hold a grudge on her from this event.. sort out your issues, don't just leave them in the back of your mind. Some day they will pile up and you will explode and it will be MESSY! If her response is unsatisfactory and you still question your relationship with her - break it off!
I find it interesting how you think her behavior is bothersome, but you don't think "pumping and dumping" is bothersome. :S (What if it were the other way around? Let's say, in a hypothetical situation, you were doing something bothersome like this to her, and she kept quiet and schemed about taking advantage of you then dumping you.. would you want that? What would it say about her character? Do you understand what I am saying - would you find her actions justified? Just because you were talking about some hot chicks?)
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A
male
reader, ricardocampa +, writes (2 February 2010):
ricardocampa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Curioushot:
The question is not whether I have low self esteem, or whether I have insecurities (the answer to both is no) Also, her behavior didn't bother me about myself nearly as much as it bothered me about her... so the insecurities were not only non existent apriori, but she also failed in her casual attempt to create them.
What I am concerned about is whether her behavior is grounds for me to consider her unworthy of a serious future prospect. I'm guessing you think her behavior is not a big deal. Its definitely a valid view point, and I thank you for your input!
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A
female
reader, curious0hot +, writes (1 February 2010):
 So much of your followup indicates a poor relationship, especially:
prompted her to take some cheap shots at me like proposing that we measure my dick size (btw I agreed to it on the condition that we measure it down her throat)
What she does isn't causing the insecurities.
They're already there.
Being jealous of a picture, and thinking she is taking a cheap shot, because she asked to measure your penis are signs of low self esteem.
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A
male
reader, ricardocampa +, writes (1 February 2010):
ricardocampa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your opinions, folks.To those who asked if she might be trying to give me a taste of my own medicine, its possible that she thinks of it that way, but the worst I did is not being as affectionate to her as she thinks I should ideally be, which apparently is very mean of me. Also, I kind of order her around to do small favors and such, which she resents (things like hey fetch me some water, turn off the light, etc. and generally having my way with minor stuff like that..)She's generally a sweet girl, is crazy about me, never been with anyone else, but its quite unfortunate how she its as if she is literally trying to get me to hate her with this kind of an escalation.We do talk about other girls/guys being hot among just the two of us without any bitterness, etc. But openly discussing such things with her friends *while I'm in their presence* is something that I find very disrespectful and don't intend to put up with. She thinks I have a lot of ego about how good I am in bed, etc. (I casually brag to her about how I have her orgasm so often and my stamina, etc and not in a mean spirited sense, btw)... and that prompted her to take some cheap shots at me like proposing that we measure my dick size (btw I agreed to it on the condition that we measure it down her throat) and she was then so spiteful as to call it tiny dick, which is meant to be a joke according to her (what she means is that its not quite as gargantuan as some porn stars).I'm currently just planning to simply make a strong mental note of all these antics and move on with the way things are for now. But I will eventually recall them when I need to make any serious judgement on the future course of this relationship.
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A
female
reader, visione +, writes (1 February 2010):
Stop playing games with each other, your age range says early 20s... should be past this 'they wronged me so I must wrong them, let me get the last word in' stage right?
If you care for her I doubt you would ever think those thoughts that you have, and if you had a healthy relationship with her the first thing you would've done is talked to her about how her actions made you feel. With that said, I think you should just leave her (for each other's sake) and keep a good conscience.
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A
female
reader, curious0hot +, writes (1 February 2010):
I think you're overreacting. Girls look at pictures of hot guys with their friends. I doubt she was thinking "Oh, let me see if I can create some penis insecurities in my boyfriend".
You should explain your intentions so she can move on. If she wants to marry you, and you only kind of liked her, it will be good to let her go anyway.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): I think that your feelings are justified. I was actually with a cheating girlfriend for a while until I found out about the other guy. It turns out it was me! I quit seeing her. About a year later she called me and told me how wrong she was and sorry to let me go. Just as I was going to her house a friend called me and told me she was pregnant. What a bitch. I went to her house with the intention of pumping and dumping her but I just couldn't do it. I realized I'm not that kind of a person. I hope that you aren't that kind of person either. Just leave her. Forget about her.
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A
female
reader, Gridrebel +, writes (1 February 2010):
 What you should really do instead of being evil and "using" her, is tell her you find her cold, insensitive and cruel. Then leave her immediately. Don't poison your karma with bad behavior. Just move on and consider yourself lucky in making a wise move. What a bitch!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): The first question that came to my mind is...is she mimicking your behavior? Do you talk about girls while she is with you? It's the oldest trick in the book that a girl gives a man a taste of his own medicine...
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 February 2010):
 If you explain your intentions to her then you become the bad guy in the relationship. It would be your fault that you two broke up. Her biggest revenge is to marry an impotent guy and that's not your concern anymore. She is probably dating you just so that she could brag about you in front of her friends. She is insecure herself. She is more concerned about what others think than what she really wants in life. Before you hate her that much, imagine her pain.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): If you explain that you want to, 'pump her till the fun lasts', then she will probably dump you first, right there.
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