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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm in Year 11 at school, and one of the boys who I've like for a while is apparently into me. I would do anything for him to like me, and we are quite physical anyway. We have intimate hugs a lot. (He's always been a player.)However, lately, he has been trying to rub me and finger me under the desks. He also feels my thighs. I've told him I'm not comfortable with it and he simply replies, 'If you love me, you'd let me'. I still refuse but then he refuses to talk to me and this upsets me more than anything, and I feel 'tight' as he says. Maybe I should let him? He also says, 'Any other girl who fancied me would let me'. What should I do? Is this nearing the verge of rape? How can I tell him I'm not ready without him not talking to me for days afterwards? Help. Please.Emma
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female
reader, lil miss helper  +, writes (26 January 2008):
hi i think u should go out with him but say u cant touch me arouned mi vagina or chest .say he can kiss u nd he can touch when u actually have sex
A
female
reader, Devilish Angel  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Yes, this is the verge of rape, honey. If he loved you, he would respect you enough to stop when you tell him to stop. Don't let him use the 'love' excuse to get in your pants.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008): Okay... so lets get this straight...
You actually WANT to go out with a guy who is the personification of a cheap, pathetic low-life only out for himself?
Grow up and start going out with some nice guys, even if they are a bit nerdy.
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): He says you "feel tight"? Is he talking about you being uptight with him or is he talking about your vaginal opening?
It sounds to me like you kinda enjoy his attention. Why would a girl your age not tell him to bugger off and if he doesn't report him for sexual harassment?
His behavior tells me that he doesn't have any sense of personal boundaries and he doesn't know how to respect someone. The fact that he's sexually assaulting you points towards him being a past victim of sexual molestation. You should tell him to seek counseling before he ends up in prison for "going too far" a.k.a. rap.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Jeeez darling why are you letting him get away with this he is trying to use you for sex tell him to f*** off he cant get away with this and the more you talk and almost let him the more he will do it till he does rape you this isnt someone you should be hanging out with he probably does it to other girls, just get away from this guy what a creep!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): NEVER BE BULLIED INTO DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU DONT WANT TO DO! Yes this is in capital because i wanted to shout when i read it. If he isnt happy then tough, it is him that is loosing out in the long run if you brush him to one side. Tell him to stop it now or you will tell the teacher or a parent. It isnt rape, but it could well turn to once you leave the safe zones. Please do not put up with this and certain dont do something because someone else wants you to. Be master of your own life and mind.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Hun, two words - get rid!
You're worth more than that! If HE RESPECTED YOU he would NOT even try when you've made it clear that you don't like it.
Just say "It just ain't happenin, so if you're really that desperate that you have to do it at school, find some other girl who's willing to do that kinda thing, coz I'm CLEARLY not and you OBVIOUSLY can't take a hint."
If he stops talking to you, then you'll have one less ass hole outta your life.
Tell him to sort himself out. He's got issues. Stay away from him and find someone who'll respect you.
Take care xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): pls try and get over his guy he obviously doesnt care about you, sorry. the whole point of fingering is to get you off, and he clearly doesnt want to do that as he knows you dont want him to.he is just playing some sick power game, stay well clear of him it will just get worse and worse when he thinks he can tread all over you. at the most it is sexual assualt but if you dont draw the line, he could progress onto rape
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): If your uncomfortable with what that you shouldn't be near him! I mean if he's doing that in class god knows what he would do if you were ever alone with him.
This guy is a jerk and knows you like him and is using that to his own advantage! Thats emtional & sexual blackmail and no decent guy would ever do that to any girl!!!
Forget about him - he isn't worth your love and attention!!! Find a guy who will treat you with the respect you deserve!! Stay well this clear of this loser!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): Oh that old chestnut - if you loved me you would let me. The reply used to be if you loved me you wouldn't ask.
You are obviously not comfortable with what he is doing. If he wants his own way all the time, tries to pressurise you and gets nasty when you object to something you don't like, do you really want someone like that?
Move away and sit with your friends. Think about whether you would like to ask them to support you by also telling him to stop.
I think you would be happier with someone who considers your wishes. Better you found out sooner than later what he is like.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 When you allow him that , what's next? Will you go all the way? Where will you call a stop?
He is just abusing and using you for his lusts.He is not worth your love. Forget him. A good boy would not do that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): It's not verging on rape, but it's at best emotional blackmail, sexual harassment or at worst sexual assault.
How about putting your hand up to attract the teacher's attention and say "Plese Sir (or Miss) can you ask (his name) to stop putting his hand up my skirt? Because I don't like it!" That ought to put him in his place.
Phil
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Emma, you said it yourself, the guy's a player. Don't allow him to play you. Lose him, it doesn't sound like you'll be losing much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): Hey,Please tell him again that you do not want him to. If he tries to do it again, please talk to a guidance counsellor at your school.Don't be persuaded by his argument that other girls would let him. If he respects you then he will not make you do anything you are not comfortable doing.If he does not `talk to you after all this, then take it as a signal that he is not right for you.Never lower your standard to please anyone.All the best and stay strong!
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (18 January 2008):
 This guy is a jerk! most girls don't let guys finger them in class! I don't know how you two get away with it without anyone seeing. If you don't like it, then move away from him. This guy just wants sex, thats all he wants from you. Your old enough to see through his act. So what if he stops talking to you? I thought that be a good thing!
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