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writes: dear cupidi am a 17 years of age and currently have a phobia of not being able to defend my self and getting scared of people and the dark.this happened since i got stabbed and has gotten worser to the fact that my hands become paralaysed when im about to fight someone, but instead i lash out on my parents.i would like to know is their any way to over-come this fear?plzz help as i am tired of being scared and lashing out at my parentsyours sincerely Reply to this Question
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reader, Arkiteck  +, writes (18 January 2008):
I don't know if this will help you, maybe it will maybe it won't. Invest yourself into martial arts. I've been shot and stabbed 3 times (thankfully all on seperate occasions.) Now while i was only stabbed with a box cutters and they were more of cuts than stabs, my martial arts training helped me survive all of it. Sure i came out with a few scars but i didn't freeze and that's what saw me through it. Additionallly, Martial arts gave me alot of self confidence and discipline as well. I would suggest Karate as it is primarily defense focused, but i beleive in striking first fast and hard so i went for some more aggressive styles. Either way, at least look into it, it can't hurt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): Have you spoken to anyone professionally about this? Maybe your doctor. I think you need help beyond anything that we can say on here. You lash out on your parents because they are an easy and familiar target. Please have a word with your doctor and maybe some counselling. Dont worry, i have had counselling in the past and it does help.
take care
xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): We often take things out on the people who are nearest and dearest to us, because we feel safe with them. Do you talk to them when you are feeling calmer, or talk to your friends about it?
It may be useful to ask your doctor to refer you to a counsellor or a support group of others who have faced similar situations.
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reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Hi,
You say that your hands freeze when you about to fight someone. Why are you fighting anyway?
I'm not surprised you are scared of all these things if you have been stabbed. I think anyone would be.
Perhaps you should go and see your doctor, and explain how this is taking you over. The last thing you should do is take this out on the people that love you.
I also think you should stop fighting. The world is not against you, just because you met some nutter with a knife. Dont become violent like the idiot that did this to you. You are worth more.
XX
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