A
female
age
41-50,
*heotherone
writes:OK so I have so many questions and I dont know where to start so I giving this a try, I'm honestly just looking for advice, so I am a fairly younger person who has recently went through a divorce, my marriage was falling about a year ago, anyways when my ex cheated on me at that point I turned to a friend who turned into more than just a friend now he is my best friend and I love this man with all my heart. My child loves him, but here lies the problem - he is married and keeps telling me he wants out and is going to get out, he spends almost all of his time split between me and her but I do all the fun stuff with him so my problem is what to do about this situation? I am the one that is up all night wondering if he is really ever going to just be with me and how long to I have to wait??? Is this normal or am I crazy??
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best friend, cheated on me, divorce, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, IndianGuide  +, writes (24 November 2008):
You get sex,
You get emotional support
Stop looking for permanence in this relationship. This relationship has an expiry date.
Enjoy while it lasts.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): The chances of him leaving his wife are really non existent.Do not underestimate the bond-a simple band of gold brings into a relationship.Most of the players are there just to fulfill a primitive need in them.
Lets say I turn out wrong and he does leave her.If he has left her for you,he will definitely leave you for the next lovely legs who comes along.Please wake up before its too late and try to do the intelligent thing here.
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A
female
reader, BethyBoo  +, writes (23 November 2008):
 you say your ex cheated on you, so wouldnt you know how horrible it feels? why would you want to put his wife through that kind of pain. even if you didnt care or something, she will. get out of this relatioship right away. he has 'helped' you get through a divorce with a cheating man and lead you right back into cheating with him. he sounds bad for you. leave now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): You're not the only one spending sleepless nights...a wife knows when her husband is cheating. Even if she doesn't admit it to herself. You said you get to do all the fun-stuff...I'm sure his wife would be happy to hear that! And I wonder...who's gonna be doing the fun stuff when he's with you????
I'm sorry if I sound too harsh, but I just get so angry when I hear how people consider marriage disposable! What happened to committment and loyalty??? And it's not just the men. It's the woman who think nothing of destroying a marriage! They enable these men to hurt their wives.
I wish I had a nickel for every guy that told his girlfriend he wanted out of his marriage! Man, would I be rich!
Your playing with fire and your going to get burned!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (23 November 2008):
 First, never date a married man. I'm not saying this to lecture right or wrong. What I'm saying is that dating a married man is placing yourself in a position where a minimum of one person will get hurt. Leaving the wife hurts her, not divorcing to be with you hurts you. It's one action where you can't avoid that fact.
Your not sleeping at night is due to your deep feeling that he may not become yours. So many people get played thinking the wife will be out of the picture. Let's say you do get him without the wife being involved. How long before he has someone else on the side. Just because he'd be with you doesn't mean how he acts in relationships will change.
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