A
female
age
41-50,
*ustfriends?
writes:i meet the most wounderful guy 8mons ago. we got along great until i had a miscarrage. he became very distant and we started arguing alot. we decided to break up and give ourselves time to think. we didnt change anything. we still were together every wkend he stayed at my house 2-3 nights a wk. we still told each other we loved one another. recently we went to a shared friends wedding reception seperatly but he was by my side all night and bought all my drinks. we went our seperate ways at the end of the night. he was at a friends house that lives a couple blocks from me and he called and asked if he could come by to talk. i said sure. we both decided neither one of us is ready for a serious relationship. we just want to hang out and have fun with friends. so i thought things were fine until we did that for a wk and every time i talked about my wkend(he would ask) he seemed down and hurt that i was having fun. again that sunday he was at his friends and came by. that night we slept together. the next morning he said he still loved me and want me to only have sex with him and he only wanted to have sex with me. if that is the case why can we not be together. the whole purpose of us being friends was to have freedom. is this a way of keeping me around with no strings? how should i take it? does he want to get back together but afraid i will reject him? should i bring up getting back together cause in my oppinion there is no point in being just friends if that is how it is going to be. i love him very much and he loves me very much. that is why we ended we didnt want to ruin the chance of a friendship but is that really what we wnt now that we got it. i am so confused can anyone help me out!
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female
reader, justfriends? +, writes (16 June 2009):
justfriends? is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe did sit down and had a very long talk sunday. he wont express his feelings to me. all i ever get is i love u and i dont want u out of my lfe can we please be good friends. everytime i express my feelings about what is going on he says idk what to do. well that is something we need to figure out. i feel like the sex is the only thing that is keeping us tied together. the reason why is is so hard to walk away. our relationship in the bedroom is the best either one of us has had. it is passionate and exilerating. but i dont want just sex i want and need the emotional relationship we had too. i feel like i should cut all ties before one of us gets hurt really bad. and then we do loose a lover and a awesome freindship.
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (16 June 2009):
 Since the change in your relationship occurred just after the miscarrige it is very likely that this is the reason. I agree with the previous writer, you need to have a heart to heart talk to work out what is happening inside his head. He acts like he wants a relationship eg seeing your frequently, dropping in, spending time together and of course having sex. The messages are mixed and confused so you need to help him sort it out. Find the right time, sit down hold his hand and just ask him whats wrong and hopefully it will all come out. Make sure you are touching him, speak quietly and look into his eyes as this physical connection is necessary for some men to open up.
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