A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i need help as im really torn up... i met this guy about 2 months ago and he started coming to mine and we text every day.. after about a month i started sleeping with him... when hes here he acts like he likes me its like i can tell and the way he looks at me and stuff and he says he likes me but he never talks about me to anyone else and he has stopped coming to see me as much as well. now... it was my birthday yesterday and he said he was gonna come and see me then he didnt i asked why and he said he had no money.. i got annoyed and upset and said whatever and then hes like whats up with you... he really confuses me he acts like he likes me and stuff but hes never asked me out and basically he just comes to mine about once or twice a week we have sex then he txts me everyday.. i really like him and I've been crying and everything i dont know whether he is stringing me along or maybe he is shy to ask me out or something... what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): He Cant be shy of asking you out. He`s not too shy to go to bed. He is using you my girl.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): thanks everyone lol and i have brought up him using me for sex before and he said u got it wrong i come up cos i like you and all this...he asked me when we first met if i did relationships and i kinda said not at the moment..he says he wants to take me out somewhere and tbh i dont think its because he wants to trap with other girls because mutual friends say he hardly ever sees girls and he never talks about them either...hes weird but thanks anyway i think im just gonna start ignoring him and see what happens...thing is i dont wanna sound big headed but i am a really good looking girl and hes sort of average..i got loads of guys who want me so why doesnt he? lol its really blagging my head
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A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (20 July 2010):
 hey. I'm really sorry this is happening to you. My heart goes out to you, and I hope you'll start feeling better in time. How's it going? Are you stil seeing him? Natmariexx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (20 July 2010):
 He isn't shy...he is using you for sex, and you are letting him. He isn't even dressing it up by pretending you are his girlfriend. He cannot even be bothered to find money to buy you a present. That says to any rational person that he doesn't think you are worth a present and he expects the sexual arrangement to carry on as usual whatever he does. If you want to test him, stop agreeing to meet him at your place. Insist on public places and don't follow that date with sexual contact. See how long he sticks around with the new terms. Basically he isn't announcing you as a girlfriend because he is hoping to get lucky with other ladies when he is out and about. This means he could be putting you at risk of STD infection if you are not careful. He is not treating you with respect, but ultimately you are in control of this situation. Instead of sobbing into your pillow, get tough and take charge. If you let him walk all over you and keep coming back for more of the same, you can hardly expect to be treated well. In this world you are treated by others how you allow yourself to be treated. So tell him to start treating you properly as his girlfriend, or bog off. Don't jump into relationships with people until you have the self respect and self confidence to say 'no' to poor treatment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): hmm thats a horrible situation to be in, i doubt that he is to shy or whatever to ask you out somewhere if he is having sex with you a couple of times a week. i think that maybe he doesnt fully appreciate you, (i know that sounds bad) or he doesnt realise how lucky he is. also he could just be "being a guy" and not putting alot of effort into the relationship, like alot of guys we are lazy its just life, i think dont stress so much about it. a casual relationship where both parties have some "wiggle room" will always last longer than if the two people are,... umm like always togther and ther world revolves around their patner. my advice would be to hint that he needs to put in some more effort perhaps. its a tricky situation haha good luck :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 July 2010):
I'e got bad news for you. This isn't a relationship. This is just him coming for sex, and that's it. He's not asking you out because he's shy. He's not asking you out because he already gets what he wants. And that is sex. That's all he wants. And he couldn't even be bothered with you on your birthday. He'll happily pay to come to yours and have sex on any normal day. But not even on your birthday.
What should you do? End it.
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