A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and lets just say I'm getting tired of being taken advantage of. He doesn't have a car so yes I drive him around and I pay for dates and I helped him get a job and yes he still asks me for money for gas and I lend him money but then he gets mad when I ask him to pay me back. It really makes me mad that I drive him around and he never offers to give me money for gas. I do so much for him and he does so little for meOn my birthday and on Valentines day he gives me gifts but its just like the wrong gift I don't feel appreciated what should I do
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 January 2013):
 What should I do? Asks the OP… it’s simple
1. Don’t drive him around
2. Don’t pay for dates
3. Don’t give him money for gas
4. Don’t lend him money
And finally when you stop being an ATM machine for him, be prepared for a huge fight and for him to leave.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2013): Keep your mouth shut woman and serve your man, that's what you do. In other words just keep doing what you're doing like the good little girl that you are. You're a woman, your gender is born and raised to serve us and that is what you'll do and you better do it with a smile on your face too OP because it is your duty to keep us happy. Throw in an extra blow job or two aswell.
Pretty fucked up paragraph right there wasn't it? Not nearly as fucked up as you actually living that way at the moment don't you think? As harsh as all that shit I just said was, that's exactly the role you are playing, the dutiful little doormat.
What do you do? You either grow a pair of balls and demand greater equality by cutting off this guys free ride or you just keep being the dainty little servant your man. Simple.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2013): You are miss moneybags. Get rid of ther looser. There is nothing wrong with you feeling that way and this guys is not going to change as long as you continue to fund him. I wonder if he would still be with you if you refused to pay for the dates and give him cash. Dont let him free load. Test him. Say you short on cash and check if he will assist or play poverty.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 January 2013):
 When you look in the mirror do you see the word "TAMROOD" tattooed on your forehead?
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (23 January 2013):
 Hon, stop being his mommy and put your foot down. Stop lending him money, stop driving him around and stop paying for dates.Time for your bf to grow up! He is loving having you as a personal bank and chauffeur.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2013): "I don't feel appreciated what should I do"You SHOULD stop letting him shamelessly take advantage of you. You SHOULD stop letting him treat you as an afterthought. You SHOULD dump him.But I suspect that like most DC posters who ask "what should I do" while not wanting to actually listen to the only applicable answer to that question, what you really mean is "what magic wand do I wave to make him perfect with no strenuous effort or or significant changes or taking an unpleasant stand and not backing down required on my part?"You've wasted three years of your life on this loser so now you probably don't want to entertain the thought of breaking up because you have so much history and been through so much together. Instead you likely just want to blink your eyes and make everything amazing and magical like it was before. Never going to happen.What you SHOULD do is dump him. Sadly, what you probably WILL do is what most DC posters in your position end up doing: waiting for a prolonged period for deadbeat loser boyfriend to magically change before your eyes just like he promised he would before re-posting the same tale of woe asking yet again "What should I do?"
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A
female
reader, marypoppin  +, writes (23 January 2013):
This guy is bad news. For three years he's been using you! Girl, get rid of him. A relationship is a partnership, not a one way street. He's using you and he will keep on using you. Let go of him.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 January 2013):
 STOP driving him around. STOP paying for dates ( he's got a job now, right ? So you can go Dutch ) . STOP "lending" him any money. Just stop. Cold turkey.
So a) you won't feel you'll be doing TOO much for him, because you WON'T be doing too much, b) you'll quickly see if he sticks around and how does he like the new perks and-freebies -free you, because, sorry to say , there's also the distinct possibility that he stays in the relationship out of convenience and not out of love , and c) see if YOU still like him when you don't have to spoil and pamper him anymore. Strange but true , there's a lot of relationships based on a sort of mommy/child dynamics, or nurse / patient if you wish, because, deep down, it's what they BOTH want. Many women choose fixers- uppers as companions because the role of nurturers supporters caregivers etc. they take on, is what props up a weak self esteem, and makes them feel important and gratified, but often when the " baby " grows up and does not need help anymore ( seldom though , this kind of guys likes their comfort ), when the patient is healed and walks on his own legs... for the "mommy" is sort of a downer, she realizes she did not really liked the guy as much as the feeling of being important.
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