A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey,since i was born (20 yrs ago) my sister hasnt liked me at all, my mum says she was jealous when i was born, she's 24, aka 4 years older then me, ever since i can remember she has beaten me up, my first memory is when i was about 3 years old, we shared a bedroom, i wanted my toys because my friends had come over, my sister wouldnt let me in our room, i opened the door slightly but she pushed it back, onto my toes, my mum and dad had to push the door to release my toes. as i grew up, she used to hit, slap, scratch, punch me every night, i used to scream and cry in pain but this made her hit me more, my parents new what was going on but they never did anything, it felt like to me they would always take her side and have ago at me for keeping them awake. She didnt only just physically attack me she would tell me my parents hated me, wished i never been born, that they love her more, is this emotional abuse? when i was in school i had bruisers but told my teachers i fell over or banged myself, in secondary school i went to school with red eyes as i had been crying all night, i just told my mates i didnt get any sleep. in the end i told my mum if we didnt move so i had my own room im going in care. we ended up moving when i was 12years old, since then my sister hasnt spoken to me even though we lived in the same house. the worst thing she has done was to push me down the stairs. is this just sibling rivalry or was this sibling domestic violence? no-one has ever took it seriously and just put it down to squabbling, especially my parents. iv moved out of the family home now but i was just wondering.thnx x
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emotionally abusive, jealous, moved out, my teacher, violent Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (3 December 2009):
 Yep, that's abuse, and your parents have shown blatant favouritism by allowing it to go on, which is also a form of abuse. I would guess that your sister has psychological problems, and just as your parents have ignored your needs they've also done the same to her, they should have seen what was happening and dealt with it, ie; intervention and counselling for the family psycho. Thing is though, so often when parents fail their kids they get angry if they're confronted about it and that makes things even worse, because not only have you been exposed to abuse but then they reinforce it by making out that you're over-reacting or you imagined it. My advice would be to cease contact with all of them, which I know might seem hard, but if you never take a stand over the way you've been treated you'll probably find it's still eating away at you twenty years from now. Don't ever let them convince you that you're the one with the problem, and if you ever confront them about everything and they deny what's gone on in your house over the years, invite them to discuss it in front of a counsellor. Good luck :)
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 December 2009):
Yes violence and being emotionally abused is not good.
You could have had your parents done for neglect, or you could have had your sister done for assault.
But you didn't.
It's over now and you don't have to see her again so try to move on from it and if anyone hurts you again then REPORT IT TO SOMEONE!!
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 December 2009):
 My kids would get into fights and I would step in when things looked like someone was getting the wrong end of the stick. Your parents should have done the same but they didn't and it's over now. Try not to let it affect your relationship with your parents. As far as your sister goes, I wouldn't give her the time of day. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): Just randomly read your post and I can relate so much to it it's untrue. I am going through the same problem as you although I am nearly 18 and my brother who is causing the trouble is 12, so a little different. But the same incidents are occurring and I've have had to stay at my grandparent's in the past, as I am so scared i'm going to end up having a breakdown. As you have moved out now I suppose the abuse has stopped? So at least things have at least got better? All I can say is keep strong, and I do believe it is because of some sort of jealousy and the fact that your sister may like to be in charge? My brother controls everyone in our house and won't stop at anything. Hopefully in the future, maybe in many years time she will have the capactiy to realise what she has done to you and spend the rest of your life making up for treating you and your parents in that way. Oh, and it may seem like your parents don't care but i'm sure they do, they probably just don't know what to do. My mum would do anything for us to all get along, but it just can't be fixed overnight.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 December 2009):
Your sister is very jealous indeed, and I really am sorry you've had to take this. I'm also sorry your parents seem to think so lightly of it as well. This isn't about sibling rivalry, this is about your sister being a spoilt brat and being allowed to get away with it. Keep a document of everything she does to you, keep a photo of every bruise. Then warn her and your parents the next time she tries to hit you or hurt you, you'll go to the police. I know that might sound hard, but you mustn't allow this to go on for the rest of your life. Well done for moving out as well. Hopefully you can make a clean break from it all.
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