A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About 3 weeks ago, my boyfriend and I started having some problems. At that time, I vented to a close guy friend, who, after hearing me out, commiserating, and joking around to cheer me up, professed his constant attraction to me. Flattered, I flirted back. Yes, I know that was completely wrong of me. In my defense, I never considered cheating on my boyfriend, it was only flirting. I was, however, considering ending my current relationship. Soon after the flirting started, I stopped it because it felt wrong, and decided I wanted to stay with my man. In the past week, my boyfriend and I have reconnected and worked out our problems. We're doing great again, which is amazing. Unfortunately, that guy friend was jealous. Today, he used some of the personal information I gave him in confidence 3 weeks ago to make a tasteless and humiliating string of jokes on my boyfriend and I in front of a bunch of people. It broke my heart. I really trusted this friend, as we have been friends for years. I NEVER thought he would do something like that. My boyfriend already knew I had talked to this friend about our problems and expected this guy to do this. I was floored. After a long talk and a confession of the flirting that had happened, my boyfriend and I still seem to be fine. My fear is that, like he twisted information to make this joke, he'll twist something from the flirting into an ugly beast and hurl it at my boyfriend. What do I do if this so-called friend betrays my trust again and really hurts my relationship? What do I do now that a friendship that I thought was golden is now tarnished with lies, betrayed trust, and hidden attraction?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are absolutely right. I don't trust him any more either, which is so sad as I thought I could completely. When I tried to talk to him about it today, he just flat out ignored me, claiming he didn't do anything wrong and that I should have known he would do what he did. I also expressed my fears to my boyfriend and he told me not to worry, that he wouldn't let anything get under his skin. Seems like I need to let that so-called friendship go, along with any animosity, and be content with my understanding guy. I didn't think of it from the angle of him betraying me with his feelings in the first place. All I was thinking about was my inappropriate response to it. I suppose youre right there as well, but I'm not oging to sit here and continue to be angry about it. Thank you for your advice!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 January 2011):
To be fair to your boyfriend, he sounds like he's quite mature, and was even expecting something like this to happen. So I honestly wouldn't be too concerned about what this other 'friend' says.
As for this this 'friend', I think that you need to cut him out. He hasn't just betrayed you once, he's done it twice.
1 - When he knew you were upset, when he knew you wanted to talk, all he did was come out and say he fancied you. A true friend would not choose a moment like that to tell you, and wouldn't say anything if he knew you were taken.
2 - He then made jokes at your expense, and at your boyfriend's expense.
I'm sorry, but this guy isn't mature enough to be a decent friend, and I'd never trust someone like that again
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