A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. He has a son from a previous relationship. We have mentioned children in passing on many occasions and both agree we want them, however we have never made any solid plans. We did sort of agree last year to begin trying around this year but have never talked about it since. Today I made a joke about the fact it would be much easier if men could take the contraceptive pill, instead of just laughing he said i should simply just stop taking it. My response was that if I did we would get pregnant so we couldn't and nothing more was said. I really want children, but I'm put off by the fact at the moment I don't have the 'best' of jobs, and he is unemployed and we are living in rented accommodation, plus I have always felt like he isn't ready yet. Should I bring the subject up and ask him direct, or should I just leave it until I'm in a better financial position, lots of people say there is never a good time to have a baby, but am I pushing it even thinking about having one now?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 If you wait for the right time , it will never come or you will be gone by your expired date.
There is the window of opportunity to have children and once the window is closed,you cannot have anymore babies.
According to the Christian perspective,children are a blessings from God. God will give and He will also provide for your children.
Do not worry whether you can feed or provide for the baby .Everything will fall into place when the baby arrives.
If you wait for the best of jobs to come before having a baby , you will soon find that time flies very fast and when you want a baby, you cannot ,no matter how hard you tried.
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (31 May 2010):
If you wait for the right time , it will never come or you will be gone by your expired date.
There is the window of opportunity to have children and once the window is closed,you cannot have anymore babies.
According to the Christian perspective,children are a blessings from God. God will give and He will also provide for your children.
Do not worry whether you can feed or provide for the baby .Everything will fall into place when the bab
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A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 No, there is never a perfect time to have a baby. However, there are things you should consider before deciding to try. How much money will it cost to pay for the child and do you have enough, HEALTH INSURANCE!! is very important. Kids go to the doctor a lot during the first year. Also, how will you take of the child, will you take some time off from your job? WIll they pay for your time off? Like others said, your boyfriend should consider a job bc it will be finacially more stable and also you will need time off emotionally. You might be suprised when you find yourself not wanting to leave your baby so soon. So please consider how you will do this both financially and emotionally. Another thing to consider is how stable is your relationship, are you guys getting on well and communicating? No matter how much $$ you have, if you dont your emotions together things will be even harder.
If its any help, I also chose to just go off bc and try to have a child. But me and my fiance talked about how things were all going to work and I got insurance for having the baby bc its way expensive. We also have a good relationship so we both knew what we wanted. Granted, things arent perfect but at least I have/had a pretty solid understanding of how we are going to raise our daughter.
So please consider all these things and you must be straight about it with your boyfriend bc it isnt a choice to be taken lightly. Once you are responsible for another's life, there is no going back. Your life will change for better and worse so its best to be prepared!
Hope this helps and take care!!
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 I think you should wait until he has a job!
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (30 May 2010):
there is always a good time to have a child and it certainly isn't while your partner is unemployed. a child is expensive alot of effort.
Your boyfriend needs to find a job to help support you, once you have had a baby it will be a long time before you can go to work and it is not right to just assume the government will pay for it.
once you have had the baby it will be more difficult to buy your own home or get married as all of your money will then go towards supporting your child and family.
if owning your own home is not a priority and marriage isn't on your list of things you want to do for many years then just wait until your boyfriend is in a more financially stable situation and then start saving.
His flippent remark to contraception and planning a family gives me the impression he is not ready and not responsible enough for one yet so I would suggest you wait a little longer because when the time is right you will know.
you wouldn't want to add the pressure of a baby to a relationship if your are ot financially stable, you will want to buy things for your child and not have to struggle for the rest of your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): While there is no perfect time, it might be a good idea to wait until your partner has a job and then start planning your family. It will be less stressful and you'll feel more secure in your decision if he has a job.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 It was hardly the best idea when he had his kid, but he still did. I think that by saying you should stop taking the pill he is open to the idea that you have a child together. If you want one.. no there is hardly ever a perfect time. And then what if you DO end up getting a greater job, do you think that then will be better to have a child? So that you have to stop working, fall behind possibly, what if you suddenly loose that greater job and then the living cost is too hugh because you already got used to more expensive things... uhm, my point is that everything that can go wrong always will go wrong at some point. So in theory, everything could always be better. But we cant put our lives on hold for that reason, we get the best we can and hope its good enough and strive for better things. You have a job. You are old enough. Theres already a child in the house and you are able to support it and you have experience with children. You have a partner that youve been together with for long, you both want a child.. Theres many good things here!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): I don't think there is ever a perfect time to have a kid because life is always a bit complicated!! Just go for it when you think it's good enough x
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