A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, This is just a short question but is there any way to reject a guy nicely? this guy keeps asking me out and I haven't ever given him a straight answer because I just dont want to offend him, any ideas? We are quite good friends, but he is staying in the friend zone, I dont want to have a relationship with him. I have told him that I dont want to ruin our friendship but he keeps saying that it wont, and I know it probably will, I am not attracted to him, anyone know of any way I could reject him nicley? thanks in advance for any advice! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2011): Say thank you for asking or that you feel flattered and then tell him you see him as a friend and don't want any more than that with him.
A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (26 May 2011):
Yes, the nicest way to do it is to be direct and honest about your rejection. You can also explain that you aren't interested in him like that, and that it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him, just that he isn't right for you, but that there will be plenty of woman who are interested in him.
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A
female
reader, yasmimburgues  +, writes (26 May 2011):
I think she should tell him that you only will ever see him as a friend. Also tell him he is in love with a handsome boy or you're dating. You can't feel guilty for not being interested in someone. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (25 May 2011):
 aw your gonna have to tell him like it is, some people are quite thick skinned and he probably thinks that you would like something to happen but you are just worried in case it ruins the friendship (coz that's exactly what you keep telling him!)
he continues to have hope and in a way that may be more cruel than telling him you'll never be with him and letting him move on and pursue someone else.
you don't have to be horrible, just tell him you really like him as a friend but it will never be more than that. i think that's fair enough. we can't fancy people just coz they want us to
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): You need to give it to him straight, leave him with no illusions that somewhere down the road you might get together. In your heart of hearts if you really cant see it working with this guy tell him straight out that nothing will ever happen.
There is a saying, "you have to be cruel to be kind" it seems cruel to be so brutally honest, but in the end its kinder because he can have closure, move on and not always wonder, or live in hope.
Its the most respectful approach I think. Rejection always hurts, no matter how it is done, but this way it wont hurt for too long and he can move on quickly.
Good Luck!x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): That he's a wonderful friend but that you don't feel chemistry. It always hurts to be rejected but insincerity is a lot worse.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do agree with all of you that there isnt really a nice way of putting it but as danielepew said I can do it respectfully, and that I should have said it to him sooner rather than later. I will take your all of your advice and tell him firmly that I am not interested in having a romantic relationship with him but I dont think he is a nice person.
Thank you for all of the advice! It's really helped me out!
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A
female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (25 May 2011):
Don't be the girl who thinks she is saving someone from hurt when in reality they're being totally spineless.
I think marieclarie is right
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 I agree that there is not a nice way to tell someone you're not interested in a relationship. It will always hurt, no matter what you do. But you may do it respectfully.
It seems you have already told this guy that the relationship just can't happen but he is insisting. Meaning he is very much interested and finds it difficult to let go. You should then be firm, but polite. I think you should say something like "Dear Persistent, we have talked about this before and my answer has to be the same. I know you won't like this, but I'm not interested in a romantic relationship with you. Please do not insist anymore." And then leave.
And remember to do the same with every other guy you're not interested.
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A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (25 May 2011):
 dont say that because if you find your perfect ideal partner then ure going to have questions to answer if you said your not interested in a romantic relationship.
Tell him that you only will ever see him as a friend. if we would have just met and i was looking for a boyfriend maybe but we have just got comfortable bieng friends i dont feel attration for you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): just say it stright forward!!!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 May 2011):
"You're a lovely guy, but I'm just not interested in a romantic relationship yet."
That's about as nice and direct as it can get really. And as marieclaire says, it's important to do it sooner than later.
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