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male
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anonymous
writes:To keep it short: my fiancé and I broke up about a month ago after an argument. We have spoken once in person since. One nighti sent her a text saying " I just want you to know, no matter how you may feel, I thought about you and it made me smile". I got a response at 6:30 the next morning from her stating " please stop texting me. Forget my number. We are not dating anymore, I don't want to do lunch, coffee, go to the movies. I have moved on and so should you". I was devastated. So I haven't called or texted since but my heart says to do anything regardless because if it's love it's worth fighting for no matter the pain. The other part of me says not to contact her for fear it will only make her more angry. I also had my birthday this week and she didn't call email or text. Nothing! So I ask is there any hope for me to fix this and show her how much love is still there and what we really had. She's the one I just don't want herto be the one that go away.What would you advise? If it helps I'm now 24 and she's 17, Sounds like too much of an age difference but we've know each other forever and we dated for 2.5 years, talked about a family, and everything. Now she acts as if I never existed. So to all you out there how do you Handel this?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 June 2011):
 You got engaged to a 17 y.o. girl. In Europe, she wouldnot even be old enough to drive !, and in the rest of the world she is not old enough to vote, sign a legally binding contract, adopt a child,get a crredit card ...even get a tattoo.
Do you think all this is arbitrary, and without a reason ?...
Yes she was the one pressuring you for marriage. So ? she may very well have pressured her parents to get a puppy, or an X-box, just to get tired of it after a couple of weeks.
At 17, people and their wants and needs change fast.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): I still think she is way too young to understand what it means a commitment like marriage. I'm 22 now and i don't even think i'm mature enough to make a lifetime commitment yet. But the thing is that when people are young and in love says things but don't really understand the implications. When i was 17 i got engaged too. It obviously didn't work out. When i accepted the proposal from my boyfriend (i was 17 and he was 21) i did thought that i would spend the rest of my life with him. And i did actually wanted to do it ... but things change and people grow. At least in my case i realized i was way too young to deal with the issues that come with a marriage. And that i lacked the maturity to really be in a marriage at that age. I am not saying is the same thing, and i certainly don't know you or your girlfriend , i'm just saying that at 17 things can be really confusing. Maybe you should give her a little space. Let her think things trough, focus on yourself for a while. and as for your ring, you should definitely get it back. What does she tells you when you ask her to give it back ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to update you all... She was the one pushing me for marriage. I thought that she needed some time to grow but she said why would I need time to grow if I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So we went to the Jewler and I bought her her dream ring, and she still has it. I've asked for it back 3 times but she refuses to give it to me.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 No please don't contact her. I no exactly how you feel believe me and off course you want to keep trying until you are blue in the face but this will only push her further away and make her angry at you and she will never want to know. It is her choice now if she wants to contact you she will, but it doesn't look hopeful so I feel that you should accept that it is over. She is quite young and even though you have been with her a long time she is a teenager and you need to accept that she has changed her mind and doesn't want to be with you. She was to young to be engaged anyway if you ask me you need to allow her to live her life. I know it will be hard for a while but you will move on and start enjoying your life again and believe me if it is meant to be then who knows what will happen in years to come but for now accept that it is over.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): If you really believe this love you hold for her is worth fighting for then,i say go for it as you have nothing to lose she cannot dump someone who she is not with
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (23 June 2011):
 I agree with the anonymous poster. You need to leave this young lady completely alone.
I know you're upset but she has made it very clear that so far as she's concerned, it's over. As for not receiving a birthday card, phone call or text, really, what did you expect?
You have no choice now but to grieve a while, and then be prepared to move on with your life, and allow her to go forward with hers.
Sorry.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): I am sorry you are hurting right now...My view from where I'm sitting is that she is acting like a typical teenager, wich is perfectly normal. I believe she is too young to be engaged and talking about family and all that.If it's meant to be it will work out but untill then give her space. Respect her wishes, you don't want to seem like a desperate stalker. Focus on getting your life on track now that you are single. The pain will remain for a while but over time you will develop skills that will help you cope with the loss and eventually you will forget her...
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