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male
,
*oaner
writes: Dear Cupid...I am 54 years old and still a virgin, mostly because of some stupid fear of not being adequate in sex. I have only really loved once and that was when I was 21 years old and I totally screwed that relationship up even though I had multiple chances. Now I have developed Prostitis as a disease and with that I know sex is really out. I am really lonely from at least 30 years of being by myself. How does a guy with a sexual complex find a mate who doesnt care about sex? And how do I tell her of my sexual problem? When do you tell her of my prostitis. I feel like I had my chance earlier in life and now with this prostitis I will be alone for sure. Would some type of counselling help me or am I just the round peg in a square hole? Most people never understood why I remained single. Part of it was I missed the girl I dumped and the other was I was scared of sex. Now with Prostitis I'm in trouble... Any help would be appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, pops +, writes (24 October 2005):
Why have you waited 30 years to get counseling? Don't stop. Run! to a counselor, now. As for sex, what you have can be treated, and there is no reason that is not between your two ears that you can't have a satisfying sex life. Clean out the grey matter and start living.
A
female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (24 October 2005):
Who said that sex brings you happiness? It's not the end of the world, I'm sure there's a wonderful woman around your age out there that is wanting a guy who doesn't care about sex! Don't lose hope! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, lillaum  +, writes (24 October 2005):
 Hi There
Sex is not compulsory in a relationship. Not all people want to have sex. There are women out there that will be more than willing to be with you without sex. If you are comfortable with the idea of counselling it might be worth a go. You have obviously been feeling this way for a while and maybe it's time to say that you want someone to give you a helping hand. I think you need to come to terms with the break up when you were 21, a counsellor will be able to help with that. Don't be too hard on yourself.
When you find a girlfriend, try to be honest right from the start. that is not saying you should introduce yourself then instantly tell her your issues, but try not to get involved in lying threw embarressment.
Good Luck
Lillaum
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A
male
reader, Ellis Mac +, writes (24 October 2005):
It's all up to you my friend, but firstly you have to believe that anything in this world is possible, and it is.
So what are you to do? You are to create your partner. Sound strange? Well really it's not as bizarre as it may sound. It all begins with you deciding what this person is going to look like. Create the image of her in your minds eye. Create every little detail of her personality, her appearance, even the way she talks. Then hold this image. Whenever you have time, find a quite place, maybe light a candle, and bring this image to mind, bring her to life in your mind. The more powerful your thoughts and mental images, the stronger the force that brings this woman to you will become. She is non judgemental, will make you feel at ease, and will love you for who you are. You really can do this. The concentrated mind is a very powerful tool, do not under estimate it.
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