A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I was going out with my bf for 3 years when we broke up. We're best friends and very attracted to each other which is why I couldn't understand why he wouldn't give us a second chance! He kept saying he loved me but just didn't know anymore!We're back together now but I told him to think about it for a week, make sure it's what he wants as I know he still has doubts! He's very busy with work and I hardly ever see him which upsets me. He says the only doubts he's having is that he doesn't want to hurt me because this year is going to be worse than the last 3 as he has to work really hard this year!Are boys really that logical about things? Is this really his reason for being worried bout getting back together? Or could it be something else?
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reader, pops +, writes (24 October 2005):
Why didn't you tell us what kind of work he does? If he is in school, working for a degree, he may have to set aside his private life in order to succeed. Or if he is working on an important project at work, he may have to work 7 days a week to complete the project, and put in long hours each day. How can we know how important, or how credible his explanation for his caution is, unless you give us a clue? When I was in college I started a relationship with a woman my junior year, that I had to stop because I needed to concentrate on my coursework to raise my grade point average so that I might be accepted to law school after completing my bachelor's degree. I was very honest with my gf, but she still cried when I told her I had to stop seeing her. We got together at the end of the next semester for a study date, and it proved painful for us both. The attraction was there, but not the passion. I didn't date anyone else for more than 6 months. The most you can ask of a man is to be very honest about his feelings to you. If he says he doesn't know, ask him what he does know. Sometimes just talking it through helps people see how much your mean to them. And, knowing that the woman you care about can sit with you and talk to you about your most private feelings puts her way ahead of anyone else in his life.
A
female
reader, lillaum +, writes (24 October 2005):
Hi there
It could be the real reason. do you have any reason to doubt him? He may just be seeing if YOU have doubts and putting things in the way as a test. he probably doesn't even realise he is doing it. He may be having doubts because last time it didn't work.
Good Luck
Lillaum
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