A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I went on a few dates with a guy, but I just didn’t feel a connection with him. He seems so enthusiastic about our next date, but I don’t want to date him anymore. So is there a way I can hint to him that I’m no longer interested? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 March 2017):
 No don't hint as some people simply don't get the hint. Just be honest with him, next time he contacts you say hey *** you are a great catch and a lovely guy but I just don't feel a spark therefore I don't want to waste your time, whoever ends up your girlfriend will be a lucky girl.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (28 February 2017):
Lesson number one in dating: there is no painless way to turn someone down. There is however, a right way to do it.
When I was your age my modus operandi was to try to subtly but 'painlessly' hint that I was not interested anymore. I told myself I was doing the right thing by protecting his feelings, while in reality, the only one I was trying to protect was myself. Suffice to say, my attempts at rejecting a guy were disastrous and would often leave the guy confused, feeling betrayed and led on.
Guys can't read minds. They do not pick up obscure hints and they should not have to. Trying to let someone down easy is actually going to cause them AND you more pain. It's like a bandaid: rip it off quickly.
People can handle rejection. They cannot handle being led on and being fed wishy washy messages about friendship and "maybe". So please, for the love of god, learn from my mistakes and don't do that.
Instead, just message him something like: "I've been thinking about our dates and I need to talk. When would be a good time to meet?" And then meet up with him and break the news to him. If that's too daunting, call him up and do it over the phone. Whatever you do, don't text your feelings, because it'll come across as cheap. It'll be hard, but trust me, he can deal with a girl not liking him back. Looking back, he might even appreciate you for not wasting his time more.
Walk a mile in his shoes and ask yourself: how would I want to be treated if it was me?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2017): I've been on the receiving end of that in so many ways since I was a teenager. The most direct way is texting what you feel: - Text "Hello [name] I want to be honest and say I don't feel a connection so it will not work out. I hope you find what you're looking for" or "I feel like I should be honest with you, I just don't think we have enough in common for anything serious, and I don't want to waste anyone's time" But if you want to go indirect, there are so many options for you!- Take several days to answer texts and write short and succinct responses. No emoji's except :/- Text that you are "very busy" the next few days or weeks.- Text that you just started "seeing someone" but wish him well.- Text that you don't really want to date right now and are dedicated to studying. Something like "not at all looking to date anyone" -Feign illness. "I'm not feeling too good. Gonna try to get rid of this cough" if he keeps asking how you're doing just ignore. - Don't answer any calls- Respond and include "dude" or "man" in your replies like "thanks man" (Implies you see him as a friend) - This one takes more effort, but you can be perpetually busy. Visiting a friend, going to a concert, going out with your parents, etc. All in all, rest assured he will get the hint. But there are persistent guys out there so if the indirect's don't work, just text the first option about not feeling the connection.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 February 2017):
 Just tell him. Hint are not helpful or LESS hurtful.
Honesty is the way to go.
Call him - don't be a coward and text.
If I were you I'd call him and cancel the next date (if it's planned) if not, tell him you have been thinking about the two of you together and you just don't see it going anywhere. Then wish him well and if you HAVE to block him. Don't offer "we can still be friends" or other crap. Be honest, be direct. And GET it over with. As much for your sake as for his.
IT IS OK to decide that someone isn't YOUR cup of tea afterward. You went on some dates and didn't find sparks, chemistry or attraction and THAT happens.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2017): One way is to friendzone him. Why not tell him, "I think we should just be friends. You are a great guy and it's nice to have met you but I don't think we are compatible enough"
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2017): You must be honest and cancel the date. Never agree to another date out of pity or fear of hurting a guy's feelings. It hurts more when you're not honest. All you have to say is no thank you.
If he is persists, you explain that it just isn't going to work for you. If you don't have the nerve, you shouldn't be dating. There are things guys will try that you will have to fend-off; so dating isn't for people who can't handle rejection, can't be honest, or can't say no.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (28 February 2017):
 You are an adult now. So is he. Call him up and break the date. Tell him clearly that you are not interested in any further dating or friendship.
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A
female
reader, fishy fish +, writes (28 February 2017):
Your behavior will speak louder than words. Decline everytime he invites you out and i'm sure he'll get it. In case he keeps on chasing you, then you can tell him politely that you have amicable chemistry towards him. Plain and simple.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2017): Not really, no! Just tell him, it's far easier!
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