A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been single for a while now. i'm not looking for a relationship just yet but am looking for casual sex.Thing is, I'm quite shy. I like to flirt with women and find this happens often, I just don't know what to say to take it to the next step. I know I get attention from women who are into me, but I know only in retrospect. I've been told about a few girls who I've flirted with in the past. I've fancied them but not been brave enough to say anything, but people have told me they were very interested and waiting for me to make the move.How do I make the move?! I like to go out meet people and I want to improve my confidence. The next time I'm out and I find I'm getting on really well with a woman and I'm confident she likes me back, what can I say or do? How do I 'hit on' her??The being myself thing isn't an option- myself is shy, scared of rejection, embarrassed to talk about sex with women. Help!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 March 2017):
 At your age a lot of women probably are looking to settle down and are not wanting casual sex therefore before anything you need to tell them your intentions and don't lead anybody on.
Also try and up your confidence and don't look at women as a challenge. They are just like yourself so try not to worry to much about them.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2017): Improving your confidence in you is more important right now than dating. There are all manner of guys out there who appeal to many guys all because they are confident within themselves.
Develop your ability to like and appreciate you and to value you for all your positive attributes and skills.
Join up and learn a new skill. come to appreciate your ability to learn and grow as you develop that skill.
Be active in your life. Visit a gym and concentrate on your fitness not on hooking up. Then join a mixed class in someone thing at the gym. work alongside the opposite sex and keep on developing your confidence in you.
Once your own life is busy and you are meeting lots of people and learning new skills you will have less time to dwell on rejection.
But when you do want to make a move do remember that it is a numbers game. You ask and some will reject. Just move on to the next one.
Once you meet a girl who would like to share a coffee with you then ONLY ask her open questions that give her a chance to talk and tell you all about her. OPEN questions require more than a Yes or No answer. let her then reply to you and then follow her answer with another OPEN question.
Open questions start with "How or What or Where or Why do you think?"
Enjoy dating and don't be afraid to try new things and keep an open mind
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A
male
reader, Roboaxe  +, writes (28 February 2017):
 There is no one right way to make a "move" on a girl. Just be fun and friendly. Talk about interesting topics, reveal a bit about your personality, ask her stuff about her, tell an entertaining story.
Don't stress to much about looking for "casual sex" as you're goal will shine through, and most women see that as a turn off.
Rejection is a beautiful thing, it get's you one step closer to finding someone and it's also a learning experience for you. The worst thing that can happen is that she isn't responsive to you, and that's it, you move on to the next girl.
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