A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:20, is there a happy romance after the only girl I've ever loved?Hi. I've dated who I thought was the love of my life since I was 16. She's the only girl I've ever been out with, and the only girl I have wanted to be with. She has broken up with me, deciding she wants to "live" before settling down. Sadly I don't think we will be together again. She has since told me that it is "unlikely".I don't know what changed, but since I have been left I don't feel that it is something I should dwell on. I must look ahead. But I don't feel like there is anything ahead for me. The image of me and my beautiful dream girl (formally my girlfriend) together in a happy life built around one another has gone up in smoke, and I can't see past it. It seems almost empty.What am I going to do? I'm so saddened to have lost what I cared for most in the world. Is there a future? What must I do to get it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): My fiance dated his first girlfriend for 4 years since 16, just like you. She dumped him and broke his heart and he didn't think he'd find love like that again. She was his best friend and he thought she was his soul mate.
2 years later he met me and now we are engaged and he swears he loves me in a deeper way than he loved her. That it was a immature sort of first love, which was special at the time, but you'll find something more meaningful as you get older.
A
male
reader, Moviefan  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 I went throught the same feelings recently and have just recently fealt like I can move on. She was the first person i ever loved but to put it lightly she ended up hurting me over a guy who used and cheated on her. She liked me too but she was obsessed with him. Her friends all tried to make her open her eyes but she refused to and lost many friends. Well he got her preganant and abandoned her. Well i tried to have something to do with her after all this but she seems to fear any relationship now that this has happend. And she then has started pursuing another guy after I helped her and waited for her for 6 months or longer. I was devestated for weeks. My love died in those few weeks i tried to scavange our friendship but she resents me entirely. So i gave up on ever helping or being her friend again.
All i can say is yes you will find someone else, just dont rush it i almost did and now i realize it was just me trying to find someone to help me heal and i would of ended up hurting her.
Well i have found someone i feel similar about, but not exactly the same. But that could be because i have changed since then. SO yeah just look forward u will find someone once you are ready, when you are as in love as i was and i think u were U ONLY HAVE EYES FOR HER. No one else makes you feel the same. But once you have moved on you feel diffrent, trust me.
I wish you luck man! I really do! I know how it feels...
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A
female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Oh hon. You'll get over this and move on. It is such a normal part of learning to love. Four years seems like such a huge percentage of your life right now, but I can promise you that there are others out there. Time will help you get over her.
In the meantime, keep busy. Take classes, join a sport, learn to play the guitar, anything. Bonus points if it involves other people. Get good at something by doing it. This builds self-confidence, and self-confidence is SEXY.
Deep breath (lots of them). Hold your head up and move on. Act like things are going to be okay and they will be, I promise. Good luck hon.
P.S. I dated someone my HS beau for 9 years and then we broke up. It did take a while to get over him. I'm so glad that I did. I dated for quite a while before I met my spouse, who is the love of my life (and has been for 10 years). It's why I can promise you that there will be another, better relationship for you. Believe it.
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