A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my bf for 2yrs now. We have a lil girl thats 9 months, We have a great relationship good communication great sex everything is good! A few months ago he asked me how many partners have I hadI told him 10 including him. It was too much for him, when we would get into arguments he would disrespect me and call me names. We had an argument last night and like always we ended up talking about my pass he got mad left and 20min later he text and said I shoulda have never taking you serious! Seeing that just made me feel real unconfortable, I'm tired of him disrespecting me I told him we should end our relationship. Hes the one who usually says he no longer wants to be with me but he ends up coming back. Is there a different way of handling this situation or should we just go our separate ways?
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (18 August 2012):
 We hear about retroactive jealousy on this site a lot. At first glance of the post I was going to reccomend having him check out some of the numerous posts people have put up for their partner's past that they can't handle. However when reading again it doesn't seem right. He isn't just bothered by it, he insults you and puts you down and disrespects you because of it. I can understand it bothering a person because I've dealt with it myself, but putting someone down and making them feel awful isn't right to do to someone you love. Also the fact that he apparently has just left or said he was done with the relationship before then decides to come back. He doesn't seem like someone who would be a good choice to have around forever, nor does he seem dependable enough to stick around forever. It's probably time to move on.
A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather  +, writes (18 August 2012):
 He was probably hoping for, and expecting, a different answer from you. A lot of guys think and react the way he does - we see it on this site all the time. It's a stupid question to ask and he obviously has a job dealing with your answer as it was not what he was expecting to hear.
So, how to deal with this problem. Yea, his behaviour towards you is deplorable but in some ways, understandable. You burst his bubble and he now needs to learn how to deal with it. First, you need his apology and a promise NEVER to raise the subject again. Next, take the time to explain that it's HIM you ended up with and wanted. But also tell him that if he wants to keep you, then he HAS to deal with it, put it behind him or you will leave him forever, no going back.
Sorry I can't be more helpful, I hope it works out. Us blokes can be stupid, fragile creatures sometimes!
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (17 August 2012):
 I think any person who judges another on their past relationships and sexual conquests after the fact is completely deluded and ridiculous to be honest.
If they know they behave like a total jerk on hearing such information they should either choose to be with vigins or not ask in the first place.
Most women have a sexual past...it is just the way life is, the same as most men have a colourful sexual past, people can either handle the truth or live in ignorant bliss but to ask and then use it as a weapon is absolutely disgusting.
He sounds very immature and I don't think you should be wondering if he will split with you and then come back...you should be asking yourself why you are still with such a ridiculously immature naive, cruel stupid idiot.... you have a child with him for petes sake, does that not mean anything to him? and how is that child going to feel growing up, when it's father thinks it's mother is 'cheap and easy' just because he can't handle the fact she had a life before him...
Really it's time people like this stopped p*ssing about and grew up.
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